Be Careful What You Wish For

Still miserable but better.

That's how I feel now.

If there is anything good that came out of my whirlwind affair with Streptococcal Bacteria, I believe there are two things: I lost seven frala-la-shmalooting pounds (at least that's what the bathroom scale tells me -- and it never changed its mind on me until today) and I'm a little de-stressed in life, simply staying home and enjoying the sickness excuse to not care about anything. I stare at the ceiling, I oversleep, I watch TV, I tinker on my laptop for as long as I want, I don't do chores, I vegetate, I reek of drool, I let body hair grow out, I skip on vanity regimen...and now I'm basking in a joyous moment surrounding an unexpected shedding of some pounds I've always tried to lose-- hoping that I don't gain them back overnight as I have a tendency to do so. I can't even eat. I've lost my appetite. Oh what a perfect world, isn't it?

But I ask myself, will I ever want to go through the same painful ordeal again? The same pain that controlled all of me, since the average number of swallows per hour of humans is 68±8. That's the same amount of exposure to pain per hour I got. More than one torture hit per minute. For 48 hours straight (including sleeping non-sleeping time)...and counting.

And my pain wasn't the typical tonsillitis pain I've encountered in the past. My tolerance might have deteriorated, yes, but I'm still sane enough to know that my judgement is valid. It hurt and it hurt like hell. And I've been enslaved by the power of Tylenol and Chloraseptic (oral anesthetic) for the past couple of days. Not having the bottles in sight was enough to drive me insecure. And they only relieved me by perhaps 25%. I also believed I have developed some kind of phobia for swallowing, or even just the thought of it. Imagine this, my body involuntarily cringes and physically recoils to an impending act of swallowing and in some occasions, I even had to count 1..2..3...go. I would end up bawling after sneezing episodes and I'd be miserable just with the thought of eating. Not to mention the headaches, fever and chills. And the Rheumatic Fever scare that I constantly worried about in my heart, and for my heart.

I remember that before the weekend, I had planned to call in sick at work so I can bring my visiting cousins around in the city (SF). I was seriously tempted to take the sick day because I knew I needed some time off to relax too and perhaps appease the crazy part of me that wants to play hookie at times. I've even contemplated on the details of my lie, feigning an illness that wasn't even there. It never panned out though due to some confusion in schedule and something urgent that came up at work.

Next time, I should really be careful with what I wish for. Because my wishes get granted. And I get them big time. And excruciatingly painful too.

God really has a good sense of humor.

This made me appreciate the spunk of those who are battling more daunting illnesses, and the stoutheartedness of those who are suffering, whether physical or emotional pain.

This one made me appreciate my life, perched in the normal bracket in the spectrum of life, having better health than most people, and days and days of smiles and pain-free living.

And yes, this one humbled me.

Live Traffic Feed - Part Deux

- yesterday, at my own home: www.wonderwifey.com -

This blogsite still smells as good as a newborn baby and I'm already flaking on it? I apologize for not having posted for a week. I've been so busy with personal affairs quite recently and perhaps pushed myself too much that I'm now down with a very painful case of tonsillitis. I tell you, I need to muster all the courage and guts just to bring myself to chug a small amount of water from the bottle. One small gulp is a milestone, and is a love offering to the heavens for undergoing such kind of pain. Really.

I just got off the phone with my health-care provider after a very helpful yet helpless conversation on how to relieve myself of the pain, and after my long drawn out mutterings about my symptoms amidst the pool of drool that can't find it's way down the drain, a very red and tender uvula (I made sure I spelled that right!) that has the potential to swell into the size of Statue of Liberty given a couple more days, and underneath a blanket that reeks of illness.

So I have another phone appointment in an hour with my doctor, who unfortunately, no matter how miserable I feel, cannot do a throat culture for Strep over the phone. That means, I might have to drag my freaking tonsils to the lab. That, or I live with the risk of rheumatic fever from today onwards. I know all that because when I was a kid, they had to put me on prophylactic antibiotics because I was at a high risk some sort and I never fully understood why. And we can't take chances with the heart -- the most important muscle of all.

Anyway, if you've been here before, you might have noticed the musical chairs of links on the right side. I have not accomplished anything that is related to building and boosting this blogsite. I haven't enlisted in blog directories just yet. Haven't blog-hopped, haven't exchanged links, haven't anything!

I'm still trying and testing the final look that I want although I know that a blogsite is a dynamic work in progress forever.

If there is anything good that has come out of my efforts, it is the Live Traffic Feed. I adore Feedjit! Now, I know who stalks me. No, it's not you my dear friends in the blogosphere. It's this guy with a stamp of Glenview, IL. I know who you are. You can snoop here and in my other sites as much as you want. But I must tell you that I know you've been here. I smell it from the grave. I'M SORRY for stuff that happened, but I hope you understand that someone like me can't patronize losers, even for charitable purposes. I've proven that over and over especially on the last blow with you posting incriminating ads of me online which is totally IMMATURE of you and totally FALSE about me. So please respect it if you felt that you got chosen over, which wasn't even the case. Who knows, if I had chosen you and I to be together, either you or me would have been miserable by now. I knew in my heart and from the start that it wouldn't work and the parade of seemingly beautiful, awesome and too-good-to-be-true things wouldn't get us too far. I gave it a chance, it simply didn't pan out the way we had thought. Things happen for a reason. And some things and people really just aren't meant to be.

And I don't even know why I'm wasting my time trying to explain.

*whew*

I think that's the most personal thing I've ever lashed out in my history of blogging. Normally, I hold back on these things. But acute and painful tonsillitis can bring out so much hatred and pain from ghosts of the past. Try to have sore throat like mine! And tell me what kind of hideous monster it transforms you into.

Free Stuff

- written two delirious days ago at Coffee, Anyone? -

I'm giving something away for free. MY TONSILS! *LOL* Oh phuleez....take them away from me.

Aside from them hurting like hell right now (and you know I don't usually use that term -- hell I mean), there really isn't anything keeping my tonsils busy right now. Well, they are succeeding at annoying me and making me burst into helpless tears each time I swallow. AAAARRRRRGH!

Yes, I'm sick. I had to come home at around lunch time and be as sick as sick can be. I was running a temperature earlier. Hot enough to make me delirious. I couldn't even blog with all that free time and stuff. What!?!

So, the fact that you're hearing from me right now means I'm feeling a little better.  Hubby got home early to take care of me and when Theraflu kicked in, I was sweating my troubles away.

My tonsils are still hurting. I guess the pain will linger around for a few days still. I think I'll be off from work tomorrow again. And hey, I'm no happy camper staying home. I'd rather have happy tonsils that are in great shape and not hurting.

Wanna trade?

I'm back!

How  I emerged from the weekend in one piece is a flummoxing mystery that can be archived next to the Crop Circles, the Fibonacci numbers and the wonky mind of the Octuplets' mommy. I'm almost embarassed to relate the flurry (or shall I say blurry) of events that I managed to whisk through from friday night onwards. 

Friday night dinner party at our house -- and cooking before that, cousin's family spending the night at our place, early breakfast before they left for a trip to the snow up in Tahoe, rushing to stepdoe's colorguard performance in Union City, pizza lunch with the guard girls and some chaperones and friends we invited to the show, entertaining the friends back at our house, hubby playing basketball with the guys and us ladies taking a leisure walk, yummy sushi dinner with bro-in-law's family for a niece's birthday, taking our niece and nephew back to our house for a sleepover, staying up for a late night chat -- some real fun and interesting teen talk *LOL*, going to church in the morning chill at 7:30am the next day, cooking breakfast for stepdoe and mom and eating with them together with our niece and nephew who slept over, buying some wine at Napa, hanging out at a friend's house near Napa, then a snack at Wingstop, then dropping off our niece and nephew at two separate houses, passing by bro-in-law's in Suisun and going altogether to a party at my sister's house for the same cousins who got back from Tahoe sunday night. And the aformentioned stops and detours all miles apart! Monday...work work work...then dinner at a cousin's house in San Mateo. That was last night. Then today...work work work.

We were able to make many people happy so it's all good. But don't be surprised if I need to be an hermit in my cave for some time again. I badly need to recoup. That's just how it works. "Tired" is an understatement. And we do need to think about our own concerns soon too. Due yesterday.

So I tell yah, it's really an amazing grace and continuous wonderment where I have been drawing my strength from, considering that I'm off my caffeine fixes for the entire Lenten season.

Crop Circles quality, eh? More like Dark Circles around my eyes.

Overdrive

Happy St. Paddy's!

Most of us at work used to wear green on St. Patrick's Day. Apparently, they left me in the dark! *LOL* I'm the only one wearing an army green jacket today. And what happened to the shamrock stickers people used to give away? And the green frosted cookies?

That leaves me dubious about this year's Halloween altogether. What if I'd be the only one coming to work in a costume...

So anyway, there will be a lot of things on my plate again for the next couple of weeks (months?). Cousins from the Philippines are staying with us this coming weekend. Hubby and I haven't put together any dinner menu yet. We've been arguing about what to serve. He and his sinful concoctions and me and my healthful-wannabe treats! Hopefully we arrive at a hearty marriage of scrumptious yet easy to pull off dishes by Friday night.

My daughter (stepdaughter) and her mom are arriving from SoCal that same evening and hopefully we'll have them over for dinner too. I know, it's strange huh. But her mom and I are friends and I have no negative feelings about it at all. If any, it is on the prospect of having to spread myself thinly by Friday and the days following that.  Daughter and mom are staying at a hotel with the rest of the colorguard team. Their performance in the competition is slated on Saturday here in NorCal (first time for her school to travel far from a competion).  It's going to be a very busy weekend: Making a huge breakfast for my cousins on Saturday morning, and probably sending some to the hotel for daugher and the rest of the girls to snack on. And then getting my cousins all set with their own weekend travel itinerary before hubby and I take off to the colorguard competition which I always enjoy watching. I'm sure we will be busy until late Saturday night. We'll probably eat out with the school reps, the parents and the guard girls. Sunday will most likely be the same. Then back to my cousins' company after the colorguard team heads back to SoCal.

I hope to still be in one piece by Monday. I want to be able to take my cousin's family around and have quality time with them. They come here to the U.S. regularly since cousin and her hubby are both doctors and they attend conventions a lot. But it's quite rare for them to be bringing their kids along since they are usually in school.

A lot on my plate. And I haven't mentioned seeing the tax guy somewhere in between, meeting with a business partner for this online business that's soon to launch (I'll keep you posted, once it starts raking in the moolah I'll show you how too), teleconferences with mentors in between getting the guestrooms ready -- scrubbing the bathrooms, getting the towels and sheets to smell good and look crease-free, stacking up the pantry with goodies, hula rehearsals for our show on May 2nd, my full-time job (ooops, yes I have that too), meeting writing opportunity deadlines..............OVERDRIVE.

But you know what? There's one thing I picked up and stuck to me from a movie I saw some months back about this american guy who was assigned in India to oversee the new call center business ["OUTSOURCED"]. He didn't have fun in the beginning until someone pointed to him that he is weighed down by his troubles with the new culture and environment all because he "resists" it. Then he eventually realizes the best way to "escape" India and get back to Seattle, ironically, is to let go of his resistance to India's culture and people. And he ended up relieved and happy as soon as he opened up.

With the many things that passed through my life, I can attest that it works. Sometimes we are weighed down by our own troubles and hurdles (including sticky situations and difficult people -- who I fondly call "Tweetum Bitchums") because we let these affect us negatively. It all begins with our own resistance to certain things. When we start resisting, then we start harboring negative feelings about them. Our stress is defined primarily by the material we put forth in the first place. If we completely let go, we get to embrace experiences rather than relentlessly blocking and blasting them out as in a silly video game, we ride the current and not stress out against it, we rise and fall with the tide and not drown beneath it, we open ourselves to a new sense of adventure. We simply go with the flow. It takes practice. But then, we shall be able to dance the dance of life, with so much liberation. And surprisingly, with so much ease.

Green

It's St. Patrick's Day tomorrow!

Saint Paddy's is celebrated worldwide by those of Irish descent and increasingly by non-Irish people.

My maternal grandmother had never forgotten to recognize her Irish great grandfather. Does that make me "of Irish descent"? LOL. That little drop of Irish blood has very likely long since bled out of me when I scraped my knee in preschool. If it's any consolation, I do have a large collection of tiny polka dots all over me a.k.a. freckles, and will it count if I get visited by the faerie-folk sometimes (in my dreams) * LOL*.

Nonetheless, I still hold a special spot in my heart for anything Irish, in memory of my grandmother, if not my great-ultra-ancient-great-great grandfather.

That includes: Leprechauns (elgk!) and faerie folk,  Tína Nog (amazing legend!), Banshee, Ad Seidh, Finn MacCool, the children of Lir, Cúlainn, the Giant's Causeway, Morholt and the Fomorians etc.  Hearing someone speak Gaelic always gives me a mystical tingle in my heart that I can't explain.

Lá ’le Pádraig or Lá Fhéile Pádraig

Woohoo, I rock (but that was copy-pasted).

Anyhoo, here'a trivia for you (thanks to Wikipedia): St. Patrick's Blue, not green, was the colour long-associated with St. Patrick. Green, the colour most widely associated with Ireland, with Irish people, and with St. Patrick's Day in modern times, may have gained its prominence through the phrase "the wearing of the green" meaning to wear a shamrock on one's clothing. At many times in Irish history, to do so was seen as a sign of Irish nationalism or loyalty to the Roman Catholic faith.

I'm wearing green for the latter.  And yeah, okay, for my late grandmother.Lá Fhéile Pádraig Sona dár gcairde agus teaghlach!

Have a great time tomorrow, you guys. And don't end up like terminal drunks!

TGIF!

It seems like the week barely started and it's already Friday -- AGAIN! I'm not complaining. Days go by faster now I guess, don't you think? (Notwithstanding that I start functioning on Tuesdays) Monday is...what did I say again...my arch-nemesis? Tuesday is my Alka-Seltzer.  Friday is my Partner in Crime! Woohoo!!!  Wednesday and Thursdays are ... just think of them as the middle children hahaha. Sometimes unconsciously ignored so they end up feeling invisible yet self-reliant, which is actually a good thing.

I never had any back pain this whole week.  Thank God! I can't remember what the backache was like anymore. This shows us how our bodies (or life itself?) can be so naturally forgiving in that sense. I only remember not having slept good all week the last time it bothered me. I do hope that's over and done with.

Oh, guess what! I reached a milestone in the blogosphere! I have my own domain now! (I seriously thought I could keep that a secret for a long time until it's really done and ready ) I read somewhere that if you intend to get a domain, you'd better do it fast before all the good supercalifragilisticexpialidocious names are gone. So I did! Thank goodness, Wonder Wifey hasn't been taken yet. It's amazing sometimes when you realize that realistically, no one really is as silly as you are yet. *LOL* I'm not ready to launch it. Still workin' on it...still tweaking it as far as my computer skills would allow, which, come to think of it, really isn't much. But I'll crank it up to full blast within the next couple of months. I'd keep it  SIMPLE, knowing that too much visual noise has the potential to drive me rocking back and forth in one dark corner for days.

Things are looking up in my world these days. Mom and Dad are planning to visit us in the summer.  Please pray that they'll be fit and healthy to make it. I plan to do so many things with them! Such as cram special occasions in one month -- Barbecue on the 4th of July, Christmas and Thanksgiving dinners in that same summer stint complete with Christmas carols played in the middle of the year, a big turkey, some stuffing and gravy...the whole nine yards. I hope it pans out for us. Sometimes, we really just have to adjust our sails to the wind... Reframe our thinking and function outside our rigid "programs".

I can't wait for the weekend. There's not much work left to do in our house. Hubby just needs to hang the four old Tuscan Wine Label Wall tiles I ordered eons ago and one wrought-iron candle holder wall art.  The home office looks immaculate and pristine now too (thanks to one evening when hubby had to stay late at work -- ergo, no one bothered my cleaning spree). It's a pretty serene hideaway for me, especially that I left one wall empty. I can stare at it and recharge for a good length of time.  I still want the "coastal" theme for it though I haven't gotten anything to make it resemble a cape cod villa. A deserted island, maybe. It takes time, but at least, compared to previous posts, I can say that things are finally looking up in that department.

Hubby's 40th's in April but I still don't know what to do. I'm thinking of taco stands, 40th Pinata, and other festive stuff. We also have a hula show (ho'ike) upcoming for our halau on the first week of May where I'll be doing three dances. I'll probably stop doing shows after that.  I love to dance, but since I'm totally challenged in making my own costumes, I think it will soon be time to quit -- the performances at least. If I can help it.

I hope some kind of news about a baby will come in my next posts. I wish. I'll drop everything just to have my own little one now. Anyway, it's Friday the 13th today.  I'm always lucky on Friday the 13ths! Got promoted on a Friday the 13th TWICE in my life in different jobs, won something, found something, ate someting good hahaha...stuff like that.  I think I'm going to get lucky again today. 

HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND, PEEPS!

So S.O

-taken from Coffee, Anyone? -- March 9, 2009

Monday and I are really arch-enemies. If you are my regular reader (I wish!), you'd know that very well. Plus, it's that time of the year again to set my clock forward an hour. Oh drat!

I was falling asleep on my way to work. I haven't had enough sleep since Thursday.  We went to the emergency room Thursday night and stayed until midnight to make sure my mother-in-law was fine after she hit her head when she tripped and fell in the care home. We are so upset about it.  The personnel didn't even call 911 and waited instead for her next of kin to arrive and bring her to the hospital, which of course didn't happen until everyone got off from work (since we were all informed it was really "NOTHING TO BE WORRIED ABOUT").  It turns out that she had a bleeding cut and a ginormous purple-blue bump on her forehead and her left eye had swollen shut like she just lost to a boxing match.  She stared at me at the ER and said "You're very beautiful-beautiful" and reached out to touch my cheek and sweep my bangs away from my face...which led me to suspect that she was suffering from an undetected neurologic deficit following the head trauma.  Or maybe she's fine and just telling the truth (LOL). Anyway, the CT scan was okay and she's so much better now and the bruise has finally subsided.

Hubby's siblings and their families visited her yesterday and later on got together in our house. My busy kitchen was teeming with food [and people] all day. Hubby initiated a movie marathon from his laptop which he hooked to our flat screen.  For starters, we saw Taken and then Gran Torino and some B movies thereafter. But don't ask me how we got the first two in his laptop. A good samaritan uploaded it one good day as hubby was fixing his car.  We capped the day with a bountiful dinner from my stovetop (stew and veggies) highlighted by hubby's pork ribs that he grilled in the backyard.

The day before that [Saturday], one of my girlfriends came by to visit and slept over so she was with us during the family affair yesterday too.  I really didn't get that much ZZZs because from Saturday night until 3:00am (DST or non-DST, I can't even remember...or figure out), we were up talking and catching up as we watched old movies while hubby dozed off in the couch -- he didn't want to feel anti-social by leaving us alone and going up to the room to "offiially" sleep.

That explains why I've been forever at a loss of words at work today. My brain and tongue seem to have suddenly gotten into a terrible lover's quarrel, disagreeing at every form of verbal expression that needed to be uttered until I started to wonder if the weekend gave me a little stroke and left me aphasic...and narcoleptic ("stoned" is perhaps more befitting though I've never ever been that, really).  Even my basic mathematical skills -- usually, I can do some amount of elementary mental arithmetic -- seemed to have gone on strike.

That's how I usually emerge from the weekend.  But my mom-in-law's fine, she even thinks I'm beautiful -- even if that opinion is probably rooting from the recent head injury *LOL*, I got together with a friend from college, we had an impromptu joyous family gathering at our house ...and have I told you, my backache's gone! It disappeared as unexpectedly as it has come.

So, I still have so much to thank God for, however spaced-out-from-the-sleep-deprived-weekend I feel.

Weekend Gift for Myself

-posted at Coffee, Anyone? last weekend-

We are each responsible for our own conduct. Galatians 6:5 (NLT)

Your choices control your calendar and, as a result, your lifestyle. Your choices are far more powerful than your circumstances. You may not like how complicated your life has become yet, with very few exceptions, no one is forcing you to keep your life complicated.

 

You have the power to simplify your life.

 

The Bible teaches, “We are each responsible for our own conduct” (Galatians 6:5 NLT). To me, that means God expects us to assume responsibility for our lives and to carefully choose how we spend our time.

 

That’s why I’ve spent years teaching people to discover why God placed them on this planet: What is your purpose for being here?

 

Ultimately, it will be the donation of your life that will count far more than the duration.

 

In other words, it’s not how long you live – or even how much you cram into how long you live – it’s really about how you live.

 

Here are three essential steps to simplify your life:

 

· First, figure out your purpose, and then let your purpose guide the goals of your life.

 

· Second, organize your activities based upon your purpose.

 

· Finally, harmonize your schedule with your purpose; that is, bring your activities into agreement with your goals.

 

You have just enough time to do God's will while you’re here on earth. You’ve been given just enough time to fulfill your purpose. When you try to do more than God planned for you, it’s only natural that you’ll find yourself constantly out of time or stressed over your schedule.

 

If it doesn’t fit the purpose of your life, God doesn’t want you doing it. In fact, he may be overjoyed that you finally got the message and stopped doing meaningless activities. He may even want you to add “rest” or “have fun” to your to-do list.

 

My prayer for you is that you will find relief from stress and a new sense of satisfaction as you do only the things God created you to do.

 

© 2008 Purpose Driven Life.

All rights reserved.

Aaaaargh!!!

 

--written 2/26/09 for Coffee, Anyone? ---

Since I have been feeling kind of in the pits lately, my klutz factor has been busy wreaking havoc wherever I tread. I broke my phone at work on Monday when I accidentally yanked it off too hard. The manager kidded me that it was going to be deducted from my paycheck, a  scary joke of course, then he asked if I wanted to keep the audio piece so I can frame it and hang it alongside the other casualties of my destructive abilities.  They replaced the broken part and threw in a piece of tootsie roll for good karma. And then I almost let 3 innocent bottles of Magnesium Chloride liquid freeze as I completely overlooked the 1º temperature.  Good thing they caught it just in time. No wonder I've been having a weird gut feel in my chest (or somewhere in my body where gut feels cultivate themselves), that something wasn't right and slipped under my nose again.

I haven't been cooking either. And yesterday, I almost nodded off at a stoplight. Go ahead, Clarisse, start a personal collection of traffic violations only two days after you've settled your last fine...

Worse, I have let some opps for paid posts expire on me! ingrata... Inspiration eludes me and motivation has really been quite scarce lately as I have been pouring my attention and energy somewhere else. Blame it on gravity, the moon, or hormones going haywire.  Yeah, all of the above. This morning, I woke up at 7:18am because I ended the alarm clock's incessant cries by turning it off at 7:00am instead of hitting the snooze button.

I think I'm already withdrawing from caffeine on the very first day without a cup. My body is slowly decaffeinating and it's not liking it. But why the heck did I start writing this post again? Oh, I wanted to tell you about my dream before it fades away throughout the day. Last night, or was it this morning. Yes, I believe it happened between turning off the alarm at 7am and waking up looking like a wide-eyed human electric shock at 7:18.

In my dream I was surrounded by fairies. First there was one, she introduced herself as "Cavalieri". And then there were two...and then five.  And not only that, it seemed as if all the kids' imaginary friends started to congregate around me. They were all talking to me but no one else could see them and I felt embarassed in my dream that hubby caught me speaking to someone, this Cavalieri...who was complaining that I didn't "see" her yesterday. Funny. 18 minutes seemed like an eternity in dreamland. There were sweeping images of me living in a Victorian house and discovering a secret passage to the attic and a staircase to the basement; Imelda Marcos (the heck!) behaving like a lowly and ordinary country lass barging into my room barefoot (Imelda not wearing shoes!?!) but she was wearing stockings and she handed me a pair of signature sunglasses (woohoo!) but I tried it on and my right eye couldn't see as if it was a Harry Potter trick and then I worried that I was going blind as a complication of severe health issues; my uncle was also in my dream complaining about the scent of brooms which incidentally multiplied before my eyes; then my two old friends and a smorgasbord of other images one can only summon vividly in REM sleep.  It was strange yet entertaining. I felt like Alice in Wonderland. Really quite interesting...

I dabbled in dream analysis in my graduate school courses, that's why usually, dreams end up making me smile. They sort of rub the mounting yet unrecognized feelings on my face. And in the end, I'd give it a knowing nod. One thing about dreams, they cannot be defined by dream dictionaries. They are contextual and subjective. They lay snuggly on the life of the one who had the dream, with threads attached to the mind, the heart and even the physical aspects, and later on to be interpreted in context and according to the different theoretical frameworks of Psychology that one adheres to. So anyway, enough of this.

Among stuff that I'm revealing (of course, there are some that I'll keep) , well, perhaps it's all because I just wrote about hoping to have a Victorian house with a B and B one day. And Imelda Marcos' cameo role? I'd like to think that it's because no matter what, I still try to see the weak and human side of a person notwithstanding how powerful or vicious one has been-- and most importantly, the goodness in each one. And freaking health issues...I've been wrestling with them lately, those which aren't mine, those that befell me, and the ones in the imaginary category, which accounts for 98% of the time. And yes, I've been reading about imaginary friends too. It's entitled "If You Could See Me Now" by Cecelia Ahern. It's my bathroom book at the moment so expect that I won't finish it for a long time since I'm usually done with my business before I am able to turn a page. Ooops, too much information. I'm really losing it.

Blame it on withdrawal from caffeine. I'll get over it eventually.

 

Wednesday's Child

...is full of woe. That's what the poem says. Anyway, it's Wednesday and I can't think of anything sensible to say. Well, half of the time my posts really don't make sense at all anyway but I'd like to think that on the other 50% of the time,  my post does hit a homerun at least. So today is one of those garbage gibberish. Maybe. I usually just go with the flow.

Monday was...well, yeah, I don't do Mondays. Lately, things have been unstable. You know how it is when at last you strike a balance in your life and then all of a sudden, something happens that pulls the rug from under your feet. That's how it feels.  Well, life is like a box of chocolates (Yes, Forrest)...you'll never know what you're gonna get (Run, Forrest, run!). It's about some health concerns for the two people I love and who I wish I'm there for. I hope and pray that my mom and dad will be blessed with good health and healing and will be spared from further nerve-wracking stress. For those who haven't yet experienced that, let me tell you...medical tests are like double-bladed swords -- they are a good way to diagnose and design a treatment plan, but they also have the ultimate power to drive you nauseous and vomiting.  The results, I believe, are the only pieces of paper I know that has the power to tear right into one's heart. I hope everything goes well. We might later find out that there is really nothing I should have worried about in the first place. You know how sometimes you brace yourself for the worst and then nothing happens? You close your eyes even longer, hold your breath and clench your fists and it's still pregnant silence...no aliens, no tornado, no rapid gunfire.  It's hard when I'm far away. I can only hope and pray while I wish I am there with them every step of the way. I want to take care of them and protect them and reciprocate how much they have done for me. Thy will be done, Lord...(but here's hoping you can change your mind, Lord).  Just kidding. I am one to embrace God's plans, I know He always has something up his sleeve that is even more beautiful than my human mind can ever create. So I await.

So anyway, let me tell you about the weekend. The truth is I'm really lazy to go through the details. Let me just tell you that hubby had a blast with his friends up in Tahoe and the photos were amazing. He came back with three humonguous pine cones for me (I can see the question mark over your head...trust me, it's sweet). As for my movie marathon, us girls had so much fun too. It graduated into an impromptu slumber party. Followed by the Oscar's over a dinner of leftovers last Sunday. I did manage to squeeze in going to church too! My first time ever to attend Vietnamese services...Perhaps never again. I have nothing against Vietnamese, it's just that I'd rather have it on my dinner plate. Seriously, Vietnamese or not, it's easier to concentrate when you hear words that you can comprehend. It would have been different with the Mexican service because I can understand Spanish. Or under any circumstance, we can just speak and listen in the universal language which only our hearts can hear and speak. It's the language of prayer. Surprisingly, everyone knows it, some just refuse to use it.

It's Ash Wednesday today...for us Catholics, we normally think of what to give up as a sacrifice so we can be in communion with our Lord Jesus Christ's suffering on the Cross.  Catholic or not, Christian or not, believers and non-believers alike...This whole thing is really all about LOVE and what we want to do to NOURISH IT. After all, don't we make sacrifices for our spouses/bf/gf/bff/abcdef??? When we offer sacrifices, we give up worldly things we are attached to the most, and thus we strip ourselves of the things that obscure our senses -- these things that inhibit our ability to recognize what truly matter the most. When we make sacrifices, we purify our minds and hearts in the process so that we can welcome more goodness in. This includes being sorry for our sins and FORGIVING those who wronged us. For spiritual skeptics, you very well know that this has a scientific and psychological value too right? In other words, and in any language or discipline, when our hearts are clean, love begins to grow, and goodness comes in (and stays).

So...what am I giving up for Lent? Blogging.  And you know that I'M KIDDING -- because I have paid articles to make and a long list of opps that need to pay some bills. So what am I giving up for Lent? There are three important things but I'm not telling. I'm not going to ask you what you're going to give up either, and you don't have to tell me.  Just promise me that you'll be doing it for the right reasons and that you'll make it good. 

Let's all make it good. Hmmm. I think this post made sense after all.

---written 2/25/09 for Coffee, Anyone? ---

 

I should wear horse blinders...

my special pair of prescription prism eyeglasses (I'm special!)

My husband just called my attention again as we were watching TOP CHEF. He thought I was looking at our dresser which was on the left side of our flat screen that's mounted on the wall directly in front of our bed. He thought I wasn't paying attention again, because my face was angled perfectly toward the dresser. But the truth is...I was watching TV....SIDEWAYS!

So he called my attention as I told him to do so everytime he notices it. He's not the first one. Friends, ex-boyfriends (I make an embarassing movie date LOL) and my parents have noticed it to a point of asking me to get an audiometry (hearing) test which I willingly subjected myself to. They thought something was wrong with my right ear that I had to aim my left ear at people, television sets and other visual and auditory stimuli all the time. Isn't it charming and cute though? HAHAHA. Paris Hilton does a lot of side-staring too!!! Hearing test was normal, thank you very much. Several optometrist appointments later, we discovered that my eyes were the culprit. Vision was 20/20 but focus needs a little help from a special kind of lenses (and I seriously thought only my brain was focus-challenged).

It's not so bad but I have to wear eyeglasses everytime I'm working on anything that involves watching, reading and computer work (and any form of STARING) to avoid strain. And since I'm stubborn, I have not worn eyeglasses in years. I have a total of 3 inexpensive frames in different styles and colors and 2 signature ones. The drawer has been wearing them since they came out of the lab. It's better that way because I would accidentally sit on them, mispace them, leave them in my car, bury them under old receipts, lipsticks and other things in my purse.

Hubby reminded me to start wearing my eyeglasses again before I eventually evolve into the head-spinning girl from The Exorcist.



I'm going to start wearing them again -- never mind if I misplace them and get stressed out trying to find them everywhere. Chances are they'll be sitting on top of my head anyway.

Some stuff you get from networking

My brother-in-law had dinner with us two nights ago. I found out that he jumped into the Facebook bandwagon too. It's amazing how we can reconnect with people who we haven't seen for 2 or 3 decades. AMAZING when you seem to pick up where you left off, that being a rough and exciting frolic in the  mud while our noses were busy with snot and sniffles twenty-some years ago. HORRENDOUS when zombies start rising from the grave e.g. your old flame, your spouse's old flame, or your highschool nemesis.  

Old Flame #2 wrote to me -- and I don't know how he found my profile, "WOW, you look good," (well, I wouldn't be posting disastrous-looking photos, would I? -- though these make up about 92.2584% of all my shots *LOL*!) "I missed you so much, can you add me up? Promise I won't say anything, unless you want me to."

That earns the most mega-ginormous *DUH* ever in the history of my *duhs*.

So anyway, on the brighter side, we're happy to see photos of old friends exploring the world, traveling around Europe, posing beside the leaning tower of Pisa, the Eiffel, random shots from moving trains, new-born babies, pre-school events, out of town trips, memoirs of visiting London by car or trekking the Amazon on foot. 

We're happy because we were there when they were still weaving these dreams. And we're happy because we can see these coming into fruition one at a time, photo after photo, post after post.

Facebook and other good networking sites reunite people online.  And then reunite kindred spirits in person eventually when they decide to.

Just avoid the weirdos, you know what I mean.

Unbelievable!

My cactus is back from the dead! I checked today and it's all green again. Someone snipped the wilted extremities off and in place, I saw little buds emerging.  The flowers are going to be back! Yippy! I'm learning a little on how to raise a cactus. 

Thanks to my imaginary cactus-keeper. 

My Obama Dreams

It's very common that after whirlwind weekend trips to LA, I just pretend that the week doesn't have a Monday. It goes like this: Saturday-Sunday-Tuesday....yada yada. I don't see anything outlandish about that because it's something I have long gotten used to. We normally get home two-ish on Monday morning, sleep, get up to go to work, float dreamily throughout the day and hope and pray that no sleep-deprivation-induced work-related mishaps occur. It's now Tuesday...I don't remember Monday at all. Maybe there really wasn't any Monday yesterday. But so far...so good. I think I did okay at work. I hope.

What's odd though is not the feeling that I have just woken up after skipping a tiny box in the calendar between Sunday and Tuesday, but that I dreamt of President Obama...again.  And it's not your regular I-shook-his-hand dream, nor the I-saw-him-on-TV dream.  For the second time, I dreamt that we were dancing together at the Ellen Degeneres show...just kidding!!!  I had really dreamt that we were real-life friends and that I was giving him pieces of advice --me, who doesn't usually give a hoot about politics *duh*. The first dream occured a long time ago before the election hype even picked up.  And the second time was last night or early this morning (how does one know the time of the dream anyway?).  Strange. I'm not even sure if I like him now after he signed an executive order ending the ban on federal funds for international groups that perform abortions or provide information on the option. Maybe that's why. I am seriously against that.

What I am really holding on to is hopefully a sound plan and action from him to help struggling Americans and lift the nation’s distressed businesses out of a lagging economy. I hold my breath for that. Don't we all?

Every household can feel the effect of the current global downturn. Layoffs, real estate losses,  corporate bankruptcies, growing crime rates (thus, creating a vicious cycle) have reached epidemic levels I can't even begin to envision how we are going to cope in the next few years. We are now stripped of pursuing gargantuan american dreams and are now down to the basics of figuring out how to pay for the next month's mortgage or rent, some even living day-to-day.

Here's my two cents, for what it's worth. I think it is a very humbling experience. It is good to pick up a lesson or two on resilience, patience, resourcefulness, humility, FAITH in God, simplicity and contentment of poorer nations-- where living, laughing and loving (and praying!) continue to be the richest resources and where usually, these are enough.

Arnold

 

Back in those days when I was still wearing my high-profile corporate hat (and stiletto pumps to boot), there was a gofer at work who always made me a cup of coffee every morning. "Ma'am Clarisse, coffee?" He did that every morning after he dusted off my desk and my little room in that corporate jungle, leaving it gleaming, shining and comforting enough for a stressed-out young lady aka moi.

Arnold knew how I wanted my coffee.  He even had to teach me how to make that perfect formula that always left me requesting for more cups throughout the day.

Unfortunately, I can't even make one that is as good as Arnold's. I think about it everytime I fix myself a cup. (For instance, right now as I sip my afternoon caffeine fix).

Suffice it to say, I have not had a perfect cup since then.

Does he, a humble errand guy, know what a big difference he has made? A simple cup of coffee. A very simple skill. A very simple gesture...He perfected it, everyday.

Movie Nights

As I unearthed my dusty and still shrink-wrapped fitness DVDs from the drawer so I could start putting them to good use, I also dug up those "new" old movies that hubby and I would usually stumble upon on sale at Target or Walmart...some even from Blockbuster. (Incidentally, do we really belong to the last-almost-fading-to-extinction bunch of people who still congregate at Blockbuster in the advent of Netflix and highspeed internet downloads?) We're still traditional somehow. And for less then five bucks, how can you go wrong?

Anyway, I realized we still have a lot to catch up on. We always look forward to movie nights at home. On Friday nights when we feel like being cheap and not going out on a date (yes, we still go out!!!), hubby puts on a nice light flick usually a comedy to launch a weekend of relaxation. We wrap ourselves in warm cozy throws by the fireplace and it doesn't matter if we finish the movie or not. Sometimes we doze off suddenly exhausted from a week-long toil, or sometimes when we're still too wired, we end up watching three films in a row. The kids' sleepovers are the best. They always look forward to scary movies because they know that we always have one up our sleeve. It's scream city in our house on sleepover season!

No matter which movie night it is, hubby likes to set the mood by cranking up "his" surround sound as we watch teasers and while he makes some popcorn in the microwave. It's not a typical movie night at home too without our favorite Maui Onion chips. Oohlala...

I also enjoy watching chick flicks that I tend to shove down hubby's throat. And oh, feel-good movies! You know the stuff that gives you goosebumps in the end, makes you say "Awwww" and makes you want to stop everyone you see on the street to tell them how wonderful the movie was. Hubby's still in the training stage, hahaha. I did see him shed a tear once. So I think we're getting there! It is important to watch these movies with good messages as often as you can.They help you learn some lessons that you can carry across to your own life -- especially when you refuse to learn from real people. These movies also touch your heart and I believe that when your heart is touched more often, your capacity to love increases.

What Joy!

-written 01/14/09-

Tomorrow, the 15th, marks the last day of the first half of the first month of this year.  Ahhh DAYS... they should get a speeding ticket too you know!

I finally received my speeding citation in the mail today. The fine has to be paid by March 3rd. That sets me back by $ 200. (yes, $200. unless I go to court)  in the blog fund which I'm raising to buy a plane ticket to PI for Christmas Oh Nine.

C'est la vie...

There's still an abundance of things to be thankful for and it's only the midweek! While hubby is vegetating on the bed watching a feature on some colossal crustaceans on TV, I'm nursing sore muscles which have been dormant for quite a while until tonight's hula class. Hurting, but it's all good. Our kumu and alaka'i embraced me back to the halau. Some dances came back to me as I did them with the rest and it's almost as if I never left. I'm overjoyed because I realized that I (or THE good ol' reliable booty rather) can still keep up with rigid tahitian routines and I managed to go all the way down to the floor and back up while doing some mean hip-swaying antics ("tamau" in hula jargon) and without having to dial 911 thereafter.

Hubby and I decided together that I'm going to pursue this passion for as long as I can while we're not blessed with a baby yet. He's a supportive and happy "hula husband" (you should see the others...some of them wait and watch by the glass window as if we are their 5-yr old offsprings on the first ballet class). Hubby volunteered to drive for me too since we live about 15 miles farther from the studio now and we get off pretty late. That works for both of us because it gives him a chance to get ahead with his own errands while I dance the night away,  tonight being a trip to Best Buy to get a bigger memory for his laptop. Then we had a late dinner at Junk Jack in the Box. We shouldn't make that a habit.

Friday night will be the general rehearsal for a different dance I'm doing with a different group. It's this affair called "Fiesta Filipino" on Saturday where we'll be doing the filipino folkdance called "Subli". 

Saturday will be a mad rush. The TV guy's coming early morning to work on our system for the third time. That one's for hubby-- he treats TV watching like a serious career.  I'll let him handle that while I catch up with the laundry -- 6 more thick blankets to wash...a residual chore from the teen sleepovers we hosted a lot of during the holidays. Then off we go to the Fiesta in Fremont.

Sunday, we're going to church and hit the gunshow in SF right after.  I love gunshows not only because hubby and I go to the target range to shoot once in a while, but because I noticed that their current marketing strategy is having merchandise booths to lure the wives -- jewelry, trinkets and other thingamabobs.  I tag along too just to make sure hubby doesn't overspend on ammos (I'm being mean again).

So yeah, we're pretty much busy at the start of the year still...but shall I say, busy with wonderful things so far so we're making some progress nonetheless.

I was just thinking...

Why do we have to end up straining so hard to ponder the meaning of life, when it is right under our nose happening every moment, each passing day?

The Cinnamon Roll, with vanilla cream cheese frosting this time

-posted in Coffee, anyone?-

If you’re here for The Cinnamon Roll story, then you must love me! Or you want to hear what I say. Or maybe you’re just curious, or you’re one of those unfortunate lucky ones who stumbled upon my blogsite and landed flat on the face with a huge THUD! I didn’t mean to put a test on you by reserving the space and adding a teaser (why the big fuss? I don’t even know myself…) I was just really excited to share something good about it but things went pretty cuckoo kind of busy yesterday so I was unable to say anything (AAARRRRRGGGHHH!) plus, I’m the Queen of Procrastination anyway – though trying my darnest to step down my throne this year. I’ll start tomorrow *LOL*. (I hate using LOL but I can’t help it!)

So yes, I’m on high spirits today.  I have been able to declutter my head of cobwebs, plaques and other things that deter progress. I think I did a good job doing that and I’m holding up well on this first week of the year! So please don’t come here raining on my parade!

 

Anyway, I bought myself a card last weekend.  It’s been a while since I last bought myself one. I’m really not one of those cookie-cutter avid inspirational-slash-self-help-followers but why resist a quick pick-me-up when it’s right there in front of your face at the right time you need one? Actually, hubby needed some change at the car wash so he made me buy something at the carwash convenience store selling everything like gums, nausea-inducing canned car fresheners, tough beef jerky to little crystal figurines. So I bought it! Here it is:

 

 

 

It says, “Don’t let your hearts grow numb.  Stay alert.  It is your soul which matters.”

  

There are a lot of things that I have gone through, felt, experience and dealt with which somehow numbed my heart a bit. Like I wasn’t supposed to show I’m broken, so I never did and I probably never will. Like I’m supposed to keep my head above the water all the time in order to keep everyone around me sane, peaceful, happy and to keep things in order for the people I hold dearly all the time. So I toughened up in order to protect my heart. As if saying, I don't dwell on my pain so please don't make a big fuss over me either. I hate drama queens. I hate people who sweat the small stuff. But them or frigid and frozen ones like me? Take your pick. I’m usually the last to cry over spurts of crisis just to hold things together, and soldiering on until exhausted. Hence now, I still feel tired even when there is no reason to be tired. I’m wrapped in a protective shell that is labeled “Leave the drama at the door, or please leave me alone.”  And it lingers, even sans the drama part. 

 

I realized that as I crisped on the outside, I can’t let anything get in, or get out. In fact, except for this blogsite (or maybe BECAUSE of it), I don’t keep in personal touch with a lot of people for months and months. 

 

Yesterday, my co-worker dropped by my cube to tell me about two sudden losses in her husband’s family.  SUDDEN.  It’s jolting and creepy.

 

This made me remember my Cinnamon Roll story.  (Yeay! Seque to the Cinnamon Roll story)…

 

It happened many many years ago. I was on the last leg of my shopping trip when I spotted my uncle’s favorite cinnamon roll store at the opposite end of the mall.  I thought of buying him a box since he just came back home from the hospital but I debated because I was exhausted, my feet were hurting, my head was throbbing and I was hesitant to go the extra mile. I told myself, “Next time…”  and then as luck would have it the following morning, he died.

 

I still want to kick myself up to this very day, now 15 years later. 

 

I’m not going to make this post any longer than it already is. Just try to do whatever you can for others especially the ones you love while you have the chance. We might not get that “next time”. You may be doing it for them (or you may actually be doing it for yourself!)  In the end, it’s really the act that will matter. And it’s really not the intention to love, but the follow-through that counts.

 

I’m wearing cinnamon rolls around my neck this year.

Whoosh!

It's Monday.  My hyperactive thoughts are well....hyperactive still.

Three days before Christmas.  I liken this time to a rough rollercoaster ride. First comes  LULL *you know when your mind just goes blank, or is it just me*, then SOME TENSION BUILDING UP *some amount of panic thinking about the things in your Christmas shopping list and trying to figure out what to do first*, GOING UP, GOING UP UP UP *waiting for that much awaited bonus -- to finally go Christmas shopping*, GOING HIGHER *decking the halls with bows of holly hahaha, mailing out presents and cards*, AND EVEN HIGHER *frantically planning the Christmas feast, doing the grocery, thinking of what to wear* and then "WHOOSH!" *you slide down uncontrollably amidst last minute stress, panic, forgotten errands, last trips to the mall, phonecalls to make, dashing for those last-minute gifts for people you forgot to shop for, *oh what a madhouse!* wrapping yet more presents, brain going haywire, multi-tasking, getting stuck over the table-setting if you're one of them Martha Stewarts of the world...etc etc etc!!!  It is a hectic time. I'm close to the "Whoosh!" phase. I'm gathering all strength, holding my breath, closing my eyes, rolling up my sleeves and holding on tight! Weeeeeeeeeee! Pretty soon it will be over.  It's a love-hate thang.  You want the mad rush to end, but at the same time, you want the thrill to last. Oh Christmas!



Have a merry one!

A Terrible Birthday Present

I got it while going to work this morning.

A SPEEDING TICKET.

Me?

I'm proud... I know I should be sad, but I'll work hard for the fine. *I'm sorry, hubby!*. But I think it's an award reminding me how things have truly gone for the better (Click to read an ancient post). Perhaps, I've even unconsciously wished for one   I had this sheepish grin on my face when I got pulled over.  I know...sick, huh! Well, it's something to scratch off the long bucket list now haha! I don't want to get another one that's for sure.

So don't get me wrong. This shoudn't in any way justify such a legit example of irresponsibility.   It's just that, this means something else for me at this point. And like all others, I should definitely be more careful next time.

I will.

What I did last weekend...

I blew birthday candles on my cake. It's mah birthday! Wanna know what I wished for?

I didn't really have that much birthday "desires". Hubby and I usually keep a wishlist that each other can work on. As years passed by though, I found the list getting shorter and shorter. As I grow older, I just eye material stuff less and less. Not that I ever truly hinged my identity on expensive stuff anyway. Though I've been a pampered (not spoiled, just pampered) wifey and have been showered with quite a share of signature purses, shoes and all, I have always exerted effort and consciously worked on NOT being defined by these things. I have met and been around some whose lives were dictated by the latest Louis Vuitton collection, the cutest Coach purse (which I never truly liked ...I think it's over-rated) and they have been really annoying. (Well, uhm, except for my sunglass collection. I need good sunglasses. But I want them not to flaunt them. I get headaches with "generic" ones. I always get headaches, period. So please, let's not go there!) Last year, hubby got me Chanels, with my much-desired mother of pearl logo.  This year I wanted something so much less expensive and I got what I wanted! Ray-ban's Aviators! I was disappointed that hubby didn't find a Crayola Glow Station to go with it. Nonetheless, I'm still holding my breath for it this Christmas.

So wait, where was I before my thoughts ran away again?

Oh, MY REAL BIRTHDAY WISHES:

I think my real birthday wishes are really more precious. This morning at church, I made these three wishes:

1. For my parents to be healthy and strong for a long time.Tell me where I can buy Time. I'll hoard all of it for them.  I pray and wish that my mom will fully heal from recurring localized breast cancer and for my dad to be fully healed of prostate cancer. I wish they will both be cancer-free. Not being there for them at this point consumes me. So, hoping and praying that they will be well is the best I can do for them (and for myself?) for now.

2. For hubby and I to have another baby. I think I'm ready. Yes, I think I'm slowly being ready again, emotionally and everything. If it doesn't happen naturally, we hope to make time for it in 2009, seek medical help perhaps. Our third bedroom is waiting to be a nursery. Right now it's a room where we pile junk and other stuff. It's like a gaping hole in our house, similar to the one in our hearts. Hopefully one day, it will find itself teeming with toys, kids bedroom furniture (I adore wooden children's furniture), kiddie clutter, a Kids Desk down the road to replace my old oak one-- hubby whispered to me at the church this morning, "Here's where we can send our kids to school, Private, Catholic"...that was truly encouraging. We're ready for one. Yes I am!

3. Financial stability, not only for us but the rest of the world as well. Improvement in the economy and better lives for everyone. Most of all, WORLD PEACE, which must begin with each one of us, from within ourselves.

I really have nothing more to ask.

Holiday Stress

The holiday stress is getting thicker and murkier by the second.  Last night, I went to South Shore and attempted my very first 2008 Christmas shopping ever! But a drive to South Shore also meant: Post office, Safeway and Walgreens. And that meant: Mail, Grocery, Drugs (not that I needed any). But I had to make a mental note to myself: TOOTHPASTE! Hubby and I have been squeezing the life out of our last tube for a week now...stamping on it with two feet had been futile, cutting it apart with scissors and scraping the remnants of the gel didn't quite work either...

So first stop...POST OFFICE. I really wanted to  get rid of all my local holiday mailouts and I only needed stamps (since I didn't finish writing addresses for the international ones that needed to go through the counter...what a waste!) but since I'm usually lucky with random cosmic mishaps, yesterday...was the day...the city pulled out the vending machines for stamps! So off to the counter I went. I could be a pushover dingdong like that.  By the way, I like to buy those "Forever" stamps that don't go up in price. *Does that mean if I hoard a truckload of them I'll be done for life?*. The long line at the post office had eaten me up alive and after 5 years and 3 seconds, I finally emerged from the counter with two books of stamps in hand and a purse a pound lighter from discarding all those holiday photo cards with the good samaritan who saved me a trip to the row of blue mailboxes around the corner (which is really a drive-through where I would usually attempt to line up in between the cars, with my nose straight into a smokin' muffler and my butt kissing someone's headlights while waiting for my turn).

So...

By the time I was done with that first chore, I was already half-dead.

And then I dashed to Safeway. I had to buy ingredients for the Onion Pie I promised everyone for Saturday's party at my cousin's.  I don't know why I thought of it. Food Network has dunnit again! But since I'm unofficially the official "bringer" of a vegetarian dish, I believe an onion pie would be something new for them. I'll make a second pie with bacon bits, of course! Don't think of it as dessert.  Think...quiche. Right now, I'm already barraged by emails from the cuzzos, "Are you sure???".  YES, I'VE NEVER BEEN SO SURE!!!

It was so cold strutting to the parking lot to put my grocery in the trunk that by the time I was done with this second chore, I was officially a zombie.

And then I finally went shopping. But I wasn't in the mood anymore. I have a long list for hubby's five million relatives and my own close to five million family members, not to mention the fact that I'll be working on a self-inflicted go-with-the-times budget that's good to stretch for about 3 special people. Okay, 3 and a half people. It's really not the money part (though it really is too!), but more of the legwork that sucks out my energy. I've been telling myself each year that I'll start shopping online. BUT I ALWAYS END UP SIDETRACKED BY BLOGGING!  I'm starting to loathe shopping. What's happening to me? I finally picked up a set of wicker stick diffusers with different scented oils but I think those would end up in our house.

Then hubby called to remind me to slow down and not run over two dead racoons he saw (he knows me very well, I have the uncanny ability to double kill something) on the way home. HOME. I wanted to throw a fit, cry like a baby and demand to go home.

SO I did (go home, I mean).

And I remembered not to run over the racoons. But I forgot all about the TOOTHPASTE.

Because the bad boys cried wolf...

You tend to hang up the phone even if it's the real one calling. 

Even if it's the President-Elect of the United States of America.

NOT ONCE, BUT TWICE!



When the President-elect called Ileana Ros-Lehtinen she hung up on him. Twice. Thinking that the call was a hoax, the Republican congresswoman greeted him the first time, saying: “You know, you’re a better impersonator than that guy who does Obama on Saturday Night Live.” When he insisted that he really was Mr Obama, Mrs Ros-Lehtinen said: “You’re so good, but honestly I’m too jaded for this. It’s a great prank. I love it when they do it to everybody, including me. Thank you very much.”

According to the account by Mrs Ros-Lehtinen, Mr Obama persevered, saying: “How can I convince you that this is Barack?” She replied: “Yeah, sure, have a great day.” Then, she said it was case of “Plunk, I hung up”.

I really thought that was hilarious!

Second Call.

A few minutes later Mr Obama tried again through his Chief of Staff, Rahm Emanuel, who told her: “Ileana, I cannot believe you hung up on the President-elect.”  The Miami Congresswoman remained suspicious, however, refusing to believe that he really was Mr Emanuel. Then Mr Obama, who has been calling Congressional leaders to congratulate them on their reelection, came on the line only to be told: “Guys, it’s a great prank, really. I love it, but I’m not falling for it.” Then hung up.

Third attempt.

Howard Berman, the chairman of the House of Representatives Committee on Foreign Affairs, on which she is the most senior Republican, telephoned urgently to inform Mrs Ros-Lehtinen that she risked offending Mr Obama. Even then she was skeptical, asking him to recount a private joke. When he passed that test, Mrs Ros-Lehtinen said: “I know this sounds very presumptuous, but please tell President-elect Obama he can call me now and I will take his call.”

Really hilarious. She had been a victim of a crank call before. And so is the rest of mankind.

I was laughing out loud when I learned about this.

But it makes you realize how the world seems to be more paranoid and distrustful these days. All because we are in the age of crank caller radio stations, prank callers in general, identity thieves, swindlers and mother frauders.

We trust less, we watch our backs more. We are less secure. We are scared more. And the vicious cycle goes on. We're doing it to ourselves.

What have we done?

How do we stop this?

Are you special too?

I find it really amazing how once in a while, you find yourself discovering that someone else wants the same exact quirky thing that you want: dunking almond biscotti on a cup of...NOT hot coffee...but ice cold and fizzing diet orange sunkist (my friend Flo and I); or liking diet coke not because it's "diet" but because you both think it tastes better than regular (I forgot who that was but I'm a big diet coke fan not because it's a "diet" drink);  or trying to paint with coffee (I thought I was the only one who thought of that -- apparently not); or wishing you can buy rubber gloves for barefeet because you both like stepping into the tub while cleaning it with clorox (my sister and I, and we didn't even find out about it until last week!).

So yesterday I was looking online where I can buy black chalkboards.  I want a big blackboard for one empty wall of our garage and one menu board for my little red italian kitchen. I found one that makes custom-made ones for those in the food business.



What I was really looking for are those plain ones that I can work with, draw on with colored chalk, and change at my every whim. Blame it on the active child within me.

It's just amazing how one search came up with a girl who had that same thing noted down on a wishlist online. You'd know it's important because it was the #1 on her wishlist.  What I'm driving at is...well, I would understand if we were surfing for let's say, sunglasses or some popular fashion trend or household commodity.

But a big school-standard sized chalkboard for personal use? TO DOs, reminders, drawings, grafitti, doodles and all. 

Sorry to burst my own bubble.  But then, wanting a chalkboard really isn't that strange, quirky, or special. But if you're a 35-turning-36-this-year woman who would like to receive a Crayola Glow Station for Christmas over maybe a Hermes or Louis Vuitton purse (I am!), please raise your hand!!!

Well, sometimes we think we're too special. But it's nice to "ooh", "aah" and "wow" when we discover that someone else shares the same uniqueness (which ironically makes stuff not so unique after all). That won't really make one "not special"...in fact, that makes two special. Or three. Or a hundred. Maybe thousands.



Tell me, what do you think makes you special? Don't be shy...