What If?

‘What’ and ‘if’ two words as nonthreatening as words come. But put them together side-by-side and they have the power to haunt you for the rest of your life: ‘What if?’…”

 

(Letters to Juliet)

 

Nice Weekend Re-Tweet

RT @DalaiLama: Remember that calmness and compassion are an important part of living a fruitful, positive human life.

Sent from my iPhone

Uh-Oh

Kindle is making me poor.  I’m on a book marathon and now I don’t have to wait to go to the bookstore to pick up a title.  At least Kindle editions come with way more affordable price tags.

 

SELF-CONTROL, my sweet, SELF-CONTROL!!! 

 

 

Aaaaaarrrrrgh!

 

This is harder than staying away from anything that had “calories” in it. 

 

 

Good day....good day

Today turned out to be so wonderful despite the fact that I thought it was going to be otherwise considering that I almost OD'd on self-produced adrenaline running around at work, sifting through paperwork in galactic volumes, beating deadlines hour after hour after hour that could have been more of an orchestrated torture scheme set out to get me by clockwork. It was literally dizzying and I almost fainted twice, I tell yah.

Of course, it's a special day for the hubs and me and nothing could ruin that!

Plus this glass of Pinot Noir that washed down all the ugly crumbs of the day, reading a new title in my Kindle, trying out our new electric shiatsu back massager...

The list of good stuff goes on.

Life is good.

It makes me cringe at the stuff I've written here about certain characters a few weeks back. Doesn't that happen to you too? Embarrassed of your own words unleashed at the peak of emotional turmoil?

Can't take them all back now. And I won't, by virtue of principles. If there is anything I learned in life, it is to have a spine and make a stand...rather than go down from your battles by not saying anything at all.

But, it's all good now. The facts haven't changed (sadly) but my feelings and opinions have definitely transcended.

From this day forward, I will not listen to what I hear around no matter how they forcefully shove ugly things down my throat. I will be LESS SENSITIVE, LESS REACTIVE and certainly never to be affected again by pettiness that surrounds me.

After all, we are all humans (including the villains in our lives) with our own unique sentiments and thus cannot be judged by hearsay alone.

Just as I do what I do and say what I say because of personally legit reasons, other people are entitled to the same. In God's eyes, we are equally deserving of the same love.

I will let PEACE and WISDOM rule my heart (again) no matter how scarred it had been, and seek to forgive those who've caused me insurmountable heartaches. 

Bless their hearts! But please bless mine too.

I will seek to be the Angel of Peace once more no matter what it takes and unafraid of what it costs me -- for love's direction not to go anywhere but prosper, and definitely for God's greater glory!

I'll focus on how good life is. And be really less reactive. Seriously. It's about time. I'm utterly disappointed with myself at how poorly I've reacted in the past, but hopefully there's a chance to recover.

I will prove that chance.

"Be Proactive". 

#1 of Dr. Covey's Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.  How could I have let that fizzle out?  I think I'm going to adopt it for life. Re-adopt.

Remind me when I falter.

It is good.

It's all good.


Sent from my iPhone

Funny Monday

So I decided to move my trash bin at work to the right side of my desk as part of a year-end cubicle makeover, and put my huge purse down where the bin had been. It hasn't even been an hour into the work day, and so far, I’ve shoved trash on my purse about three times already.

*sigh*

It’s amazing how we humans are wired.  

PS. I'm loving this email function. It makes publishing a breeze!!!

Save the Earth, one cup at a time!

Testing this site's email publishing function 1...2...3!

Today, I officially become a caffeine-free tea drinker & an eco cup user too! (hoping to help save the earth one paper/plastic cup at a time...) If say, 75% of people on Facebook alone sipped from disposables everyday and they all switched to eco cups/ recyclables, imagine what a big help that will be? 375 million cups saved per day!!! (if FB has 500 million users) Even 50%, that's still 250 million!!!

Reality Check for me!

What are you Climbing...Mountains or Molehills?

Thanks, Twitter!!!

Beautiful Skies

I took this shot on my way to work this morning.

(FYI, I drive safe...I was on a stoplight and the light was red, it just turned green the second before I took this LOL)

And then this at the parking lot before coming in to work.



What a sight to behold! The phonecam didn't do it justice. There is a bright glow on top of the clouds as if they were trays of light.

THERE IS AN AWESOME GOD OUT THERE.

Nothing else can explain this wondrous beauty. Some people (and science) just want to take all the credit.

Angels Abound

Hurray!
All my significant memoirs (even the not-so) are finally UNDER ONE ROOF.

HERE!!!

I’ve longed to see them become a major part of the site but never had a chance to realize it sooner because of my always-out-of-whack schedule. (plus I guess I’m more technically-challenged than I dare admit, harhar).
But thanks so much to an angel named Kaye of http://wahmaholic.com who did it for me. She was the one who converted them to XML codes (is that what it is LOL) and was painstakingly importing the posts in batches (maximum allowable per day, on a strict schedule), making sure photos were successfully turned over, and sifting through comments and ensuring they were posted as well (while I lived my normal crazy life).
I’m in the process of purging my online networking sites and my first blog happened to be co-terminus with Friendster, unfortunately the next in line to be axed. So before that happens, I wanted to make sure the 5 years worth of memories/blog posts at “Thoughts at 3am” aka “Til the Crack of Dawn” don’t die with it.
So yippy, the exodus is done. They precede my January 2010 first Sublime Spirit post.

And special thanks really go out to Kaye for doing it all for me! I can’t thank her enough. REALLY!!! You might wonder why it’s that big a deal for me. Well, it is that big a deal. I’m sentimental and waxing nostalgic just being reminded of my journey. And it helps put my thoughts and feelings in perspective.

WHAT A JOURNEY IT HAS BEEN!

ANGELS are strangers/friends who are always willing to lend a helping hand. They are right there in your moment of need. To the rescue!!!

Thank God for real-life angels.

Maybe that’s what angels really are anyway. You, me, him, her… we can all be one for somebody! We just need to be on the lookout for that one perfect opportunity. Or many.

From a Friend

Some people are like angels in disguise. Maybe that's how angels become earth-real, in a way.

Like this one. He posted this on his FB profile and I lurve it! Perfect message, perfect timing.

"People are often unreasonable and self-centered. FORGIVE them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of having ulterior motives. Be KIND anyway.
If you find happiness, they may be jealous. Be HAPPY anyway.
The good you do today people will often forget tomorrow. Do GOOD anyway."

"In the end, it is between you and GOD. It was never between you and them anyway."

Oh I forgot!

I was ranting about some thorns ("A Truckload Off My Chest") a few days back and I forgot to say this...

I just want to offer them to God.

All the pain and tears, the stress they have caused. I lift them all up to you, Lord. I'm sure you planted these ugly souls around so we can all learn and grow well in Thy Name.

May I do all things for your greater glory (always).

It's going to be a good week!

Because I said so!!!

May your week (and mine as well), be free of pain and stress! And instead be filled with peace and love!

I found this online and it made me smile!


*luv always*

New view to the word "STUPID"

If I were gonna be called "STUPID" which my husband says is inevitable due to some truths I bravely reveal, and obviously as some people are wont to do...my friends say take it.

Why?

No one really has the right to judge anyone so we must not take anything personally. Plus, you can "cognitively reframe" things whenever you get railed. And don't forget the mirror too. When you point one finger to someone, three fingers (or is it four) are pointing right back at you. Karma to the 4th degree.

Anyhoozens.

STUPID.

Smart. Talented. Unique. Pleasing. In-Demand.

It is a compliment, after all.

Oh yeah. We can all be stupid, can't we!

Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

Eat, Pray, Love?

My take is:

"Live well. Laugh often. Love always.
Think deeply. Live simply. Work hard. Give freely.

Speak gently, speak kindly. Care deeply. Love generously.
Be kind. Be thankful. Be honest. Be loyal. Be fair.

Spread Positivity.

Explore. Help. Listen. Understand. Transcend. Pray.

Fight for what you believe in. Let no one stop you. And never stoop down. Be wise.

Play. Laugh as much as you breathe. Love as long as you live."

~ Clarisse ~

It's funny because this is what our email signature (the hubs and I) screams right at you when you get a message from us. Believe it or not, it grew from a few words to a lot -- almost like a real email message all by itself. It grew through months and months of learning from these first-hand experiences with people. And it keeps on growing still.

You know, each day blesses us with lessons. Life's lessons brought about by our interaction with others. Everyone is a messenger...the good, the bad, they all come with a purpose: Serving you a bowl of lessons. It's a fruit salad of sorts. That self-righteous neighbor across the street, the pesky authoritative character in your own circle, the most humble human being you've ever met (which defies reality sometimes), a "biatch" who won't get off your back, people trying your wisdom and patience every single day, the sweetest stranger on earth, the smarty-pants co-worker, a greedy but lazy family member, the ever-generous and "going the extra-mile" sales associate. They all give us lessons. They are all there to make us better people in the long run.

Well, if we look beyond the face value of situations and work hard to transcend, that is.

Even the worst of people can bring out the best in you. They are there for you to realize that you are better-bred and so much wiser. To cut to the chase, smarter because you're nicer... And then you strive even harder for your own growth.

Life is a school. Lessons get harder with time, but in the end, we get better. We end up knowing better.

The blurb above is just the tip of the iceberg of what I've learned so far. And I seek to practice it every single day. It keeps me on the right path when challenges blind me with strong retaliating emotions. (I'm only human...)

Like when irritating people throw their weight on me (TODAY, for instance), and then I manage to have the last laugh. Because it's pretty comical how some people can really make a fool of themselves being who they are and doing what they do!

Upsetting? It amuses me. And I'm laughing til my sides hurt.

"You can't call it a day, until you've spread some positivity."

Parrrr-teyyyyyy!!!

I was asked in Facebook what my take on Optimism was:


For me:

It's not even about whether the glass is half-full or half-empty.

It's about throwing in some ice cubes, sliced lemons, and some honey...

Then baking cookies, lounging at the front porch and being tickled silly,

because you're having a private "it's DA bomb" cookies and lemonade party!

4th of July Thoughts

If those fireworks were stars, I would have made a million wishes -- for friends and family, my parents, hubby, daughter, all of you and me. I did anyway!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Blocked!

I must stop apologizing for my sporadic posts. But this blog at inception was really born with very idealistic and surreal visions of spreading constant inspiration to many (yeah right), as with my original 5-yr old but now almost defunct blogsite"Thoughts at 3am", now called "At the Break of Dawn". I shouldn't have piggy-backed that site with Friendster. But how could I have known then?



I'm back here, trying desperately to conquer the writer's block. Or blogger's block, however you may want to call it. I'm blocked, period. Blame it on spreading myself thinly the past months/couple of years. I had no choice but to write paid articles and posts everywhere on the net because let's face it, who doesn't want to rake in the moolah whenever there is an available and inviting opportunity for it? Free bucks, so to speak. All it takes is alloting a smidge of your time to publish some gibberish rigmarole a.k.a. run of the mill product reviews of sorts and then segueing bluntly to the required advertising links which sometimes readers won't even click on. Though it can easily add up to eons if you have a lot to accomplish, read: feeling greedy. Easy peasy lemon squeezy, isn't it? I still can't figure out how this new advertising avenue can work for most (does it really drive traffic; enough bang for their buck?), but I'm doing it because I get compensated for it. Remunerated for being myself -- verbal diarrheic predisposition and all, how cool is that? The whole plot is fulfilled. While my writing skill gets eventually dull and rusty.

I would cringe whenever I notice myself yielding juvenile output (with meticulously correct spelling though, thank you very much, but of course, with "LOLs" and smileys still mysteriously popping out of nowhere as if they were necessary evils and for those I painfully apologize; but it's substantial against the word count I guess, except for the smileys!) But when you're pressed for time, trying to meet a deadline -- with one of the companies sending you a notice that says, "you have 12 hours to publish this so go ahead and take a shower first and don't forget to clean the back of your ears", this, amidst accomplishing some serious career excellence tasks in your bona fide grown up job, who wouldn't succumb to mediocrity? It's a habit-former, I tell you. (And I swear, I almost said "dang" somewhere there). Now you believe me. *kEwL* *LOL* I'm just kidding. I loathe using text/chat lingo, but I embrace it at times. Mine is an affair of the schiz kind with it. Aaaah, my muse still eludes me. I'm halfway through this post and all I've done is nothing but blabber and explain myself. Narcissistic, aren't we?

I digress.

THE PSYCHIC

Have I told you that... (of course, I haven't)...that a "psychic" approached me last weekend? Hubby and I headed down south for a mini-vacation to attend my stepdaughter's graduation. We were hanging out in the mall and I went inside the Saks Fifth outlet called Off 5th to find a friend who we were supposed to meet up with. She's my husband's friend's wife. We ended up trying on different sunglasses and I was caught debating whether to get this pair of humongous Dior shades or not while experimenting with a myriad of angles and double-checking with every mirror available, when suddenly this middle-aged caucasian lady who was talking on her celphone came up to me and said goodbye to whoever she was speaking with, and then old me, "That looks good on you, sweetie." Then she started finding other sunglasses for me to try on. We were even joking that she worked there, but it didn't seem like it. I decided to stick to the first pair that I wanted and she said that it looked good because I have a beautiful face and that it will symbolize a lot of major changes for me this year. A-huh?

[PAUSE]

Then she held my hand, looked away into space and said, "I'm a psychic. You have a beautiful face, and a beautiful spirit. You are always free-spirited and happy. You have a very nice and positive outlook in life. Sometimes though, you look happier than you truly are, but you are able to pull it off. You also have very strong healing powers, a very strong energy within you and you are good at comforting and healing people. It is a gift. You are at your best in the healthcare or medical field, which you've always been in." And I was shocked because I really have always worked in a health-related field (HMO, hospital, clinic, nutraceuticals), that is, whenever I'm not in school pursuing academic exploits as a teacher or student. I confirmed this with her because there was absolutely no way I could hide the surprise, and so much truth that it came with.

Her next question was, "Are you married?" and I said yes. She said, "Your husband loves you. No doubt that he loves you though sometimes he doesn't know how to express or show it. Sometimes you wish he's more there for you emotionally". Uhrm...

"But this year will be a year of a lot of changes. GOOD CHANGES."

And I asked if there was any chance that I'll be pregnant.

She looked and touched my stomach and remarked that it seems "blocked" (what...that too? LOL, whoops, did I just say LOL). She said, "There is a baby boy that wants to be inside you. But it's not happening. He wants to be there but something is blocking it." And so I confessed that I had a still birth three years ago, a cute baby boy named Cody. My personal angel now. (Com'on, with all those truths that she started spitting out, I told myself I might as well dance with it, and hopefully find some answers I've been trying to find, like an itch I've been aching to scratch from a skin rash I've been trying to cover up).

Then she put on a serious face and said, "There are a lot of jealous people around you. All these jealousy and negativity. They are jealous of you, who you are, what you are, what you have. Jealous of you. And all these bad energies are getting in the way. We can undo it." She looked in her wallet and handed me a crumpled and worn out business card.

Her last remark was, "It might be kulam (/koo-lam/)" -- or magic spell, or a curse, but she said it in my mother tongue as if to drive the point home (though she doesn't look like someone who can speak in my vernacular, but if you're an expert in a certain field, of course you'll know what something is called in different terms). And then she left.


I was stunned. And shaken. And it left me feeling as if I was hypnotized for a minute, which also made me panic and worry if I've just given away my social security and all my credit card numbers without me knowing it. But Debbie was there. Unless she was zapped as well. Uh-oh. We seemed fine and unrobbed though. Except for coming out of Saks with a pair of $99. Dior shades for me (snagged quite a good deal anyway), and a pair of Jimmy Choos for Debbie. A-ha! That could be why! Scheming sales people, y'all!

Nonetheless, I still don't know what to make of it. For all we know, she could be guessing. Or tripping. Or just reading what seemed obvious. I could be transparent most of the time anyway, especially if I'm in the peak of an attention-deficit attack. Or do I simply fit a certain predictable mold that she's been seeing through years and years of her part-psychologizing, part-mythologizing practice (I'm not that imbecile not to catch some hints there)? Or could she be trying to pose a threat based on the information I have recklessly supplied as a hasty response to her open-ended suppositions so as to engage me in business, and thus siphon my hard-earned shopping fund from this blogging side job I was just talking about into her personal bank account (and thus farewell, Neiman Marcus Balenciaga Exclusive City Craquele Bois De Rose Motorcycle bag; adieu, new living room curtains; so long, plane ticket back home), just so she could seem to help me find out who these jealous people were -- as if I don't have a clue yet! As if!

For all we know, it could be this earthling who was unceremoniously ditched in favor of moi, or some life form who experienced the same fate in favor of the époux. Or both. Two tyrannized hearts (so they think) of the same bitter league, and/or their minions...a highly likely morphic possibility. I can't blame them. But we all must move on and grow. Everything in this world happens for a reason. It's not a cliché for nothing. Oh, unless it is this kiss-toosh back-biting shark of a witch whose presence lurks around us sometimes in family gatherings, she, whose loyalty is worse than any known polygon in the universe. Old news, my sweet. Old news.

Whatever it is, I just want to see the lady as an angel with a message. And for what it's worth, I am taking it upon myself to deflect whatever spell was cast upon me with prayers to God, Jesus Christ my one and only Saviour (and perhaps because it drove me a little barmy, practicing a little residual skill on casting wiccan spells from when I used to dabble with it back in the day wouldn't hurt either, eh?...so be afraid, my sweet, be very afraid!) I'm just kidding...but boohoowahahaha do you hear my *wicked laugh*?

I'll stick to what she said about GOOD CHANGES coming my way. Good changes not just good things. Meaning something promising and different from the current situation. I'm holding my breath for it. Karma. Bad karma for them. Good karma for me. It will all work out well.

God knows what is best.




















I have faith in Him.

Smile

Today, give a stranger one of your smiles. It might be the only sunshine he sees all day.

~ "P.S. I Love You" book compiled by H. Jackson Brown,Jr.

Hiatus

Like I said in my Wonder Wifey site, no, I didn't get abducted by aliens. I'm just on a short hiatus -- enjoying my parents while they are here on a short visit.

Will be back writing in no time! I usually just check in to write the "paid" articles at this time -- on my other sites. Need to rake in the moolah in order to give my parents the best holiday EVER.

Anyhoozens, here's my update in FB as of today:

...ah the soothing aroma of that morning caffeine fix from the next cubicle...TO DRINK OR NOT TO DRINK??? I weaned myself off it and stayed clean for six months until I fell again last month. What bittersweet mistake, a desperate yearning all over again. A whiff so powerful, it gently lures my soul to doom. The cycle lives on, I'm back to square one...

Wish me luck. Gotta get over the coffee withdrawals again. I'm doing good munching on TGI Fridays Potato Skin Chips. *duh*



I'll succeed like I have before, I just need to make it permanent.

That pretty much sums up my battle as of late.

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle ~Plato

And I'm sure you know I had to insert Plato not just to pertain to this war I've waged against my penchant for coffee.

Anyway, life is good. Meanwhile, you might want to visit MY GRATITUDE JOURNAL for more recent updates (click on the link or the image -- if it works at all):







And here's my Twitter update as of today (if you care to know):

yeah!!! RT @RevRunWisdom: Happiness is being with family.

OH YES INDEEDY!

It's been 2 years since I last hugged them.

So yes, even 30-something big small girls can get that excited too!

Risky

"Life is inherently risky. There is only one big risk you should avoid at all costs, and that is the risk of doing nothing."

~ Denis Waitley

All we need...

Buzzed

 I've recently been very vocal about my crush on two celebrities:

1.) Derek Ramsey (of the Phippines)

  

2.) Derek Morgan of Criminal Minds (played by Shemar Moore)

 

No, there's nothing about the name Derek (screen name or not) that I like, LOL.

There's also nothing about the buzz cut that they both sport...

 

However,

The hubs suddenly decided (as if in a Eureka moment -- almost running out on the streets naked and screaming with the idea) to shave his own hair.  He's done it twice now, and I've even helped him in the process.

He told me that the main goal is to save money -- since he pays his stylist $20. (cut and tip) every two weeks.

Until one time after buzzing, he looked up and checked himself out on the mirror and said, "I look like your Dereks now!"

Duh.

So, is he gonna change his name one day too?

Priceless, isn't it?

24 Hours

I can’t believe how fast time flies, and like I always say —- Time should really get a speeding ticket, y’know. I think time goes faster when you’re older. Every year seems to go by faster than the previous one. And I wish there was a way to pack more hours into the day. Like a Day Booster pack perhaps, where you can choose the number of hours you need to add on, like a 6-hr or a 12-hr boost to your current 24 (where you accumulate points if you buy frequently and 10 points = 1 bonus hour)…I’m gushing. Won’t that be nice? That will be the day.

But God made the day with 24 hours. If you think about it, it is a perfect, beautiful and unquestionable design. It is us humans who screw it up with all our worldly matters.


John Burrough is right when he said, “I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read, and all the friends I want to see.”
But should we really panic? Should our desire to do things dictate the number of hours in a day we should get? Or should we let the 24-hr day dictate the amount of things we should CHOOSE to do?

My day is always packed with so many things to do: my daily responsibilities at work and at home, so many overflowing ideas needing execution (for my own sanity that is), some extra jobs here and there — sometimes I can’t even find where my head is, books I want to read, paperwork to accomplish, bills to pay, Facebook (duh!) yadadada yadadada…and then there are people to call like my parents back home (and I usually save that for last when I’m about to doze off which is sad because they only get half of me — half has already been beamed up to dreamland).

Today though, I decided to abandon everything in mid-air (including the TV show I try to watch regularly) and headed straight to calling my folks back home early. I enjoyed my conversation with my mom and dad like I always do. But what will forever be engrained in my memory as part of the most wonderful and beautiful conversations with my father is everytime we talked about the piano pieces that he is currently learning (he still strives to learn so many new ones at 73). Because he always tries to sing the tune to me — or hum it when it doesn’t have the words. He did it again today. And even whistled. Whistled!

I always try to join in as much as I can even if I’m off-key. Because I wanted to do my part in creating the special moment. Scheming, am I not! I don’t know if he was doing it on purpose to create a moment with me too. Knowing my dad? Maybe! Or maybe it was just a pure and spontaneous and unadulterated expression of love and bond even if we are thousands of miles apart. Because we are thousands of miles apart.

I’m grateful that I decided to dump my ”To Do” madness for the day. I’m glad I went straight to letting God’s beautiful design come into fruition, and just let the day be what it is, and what it should be made of. Precious. Priceless.


PS.
By the way, I slept soundly. And I thought I even heard some whistling in my dreams.

PPS. http://teacher-c.blog.friendster.com/2007/02/i-love-my-mom/

Living A Life That Matters

This is Rex Barker, CS (Choosing Substantiality over superficiality ) reminding you to "Choose to live a life that matters."


Ready or not, some day it will all come to an end. There will be no more sunrises, no minutes, hours or days. All the things you collected, whether treasured or forgotten will pass to someone else.

Your wealth, fame and temporal power will shrivel to irrelevance. It will not matter what you owned or what you were owed. Your grudges, resentments, frustrations and jealousies will finally disappear. So too, your hopes, ambitions, plans and to do lists will expire.


The wins and losses that once seemed so important will fade away. It won’t matter where you came from or what side of the tracks you lived on at the end. It won’t matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant. Even your gender and skin color will be irrelevant.

So what will matter? How will the value of your days be measured?

What will matter is not what you bought but what you built, not what you got but what you gave. What will matter is not your success but your significance. What will matter is not what you learned but what you taught.


What will matter is every act of integrity, compassion, courage, or sacrifice that enriched, empowered or encouraged others to emulate your example. What will matter is not your competence but your character.

What will matter is not how many people you knew, but how many will feel a lasting loss when you’re gone. What will matter is not your memories but the memories that live in those who loved you. What will matter is how long you will be remembered, by whom and for what.

Living a life that matters doesn’t happen by accident. It’s not a matter of circumstance but of choice.

This is Rex Barker, CS (Choosing Substantiality over superficiality ) reminding you to "Choose to live a life that matters."

A Reason, A Season, A Lifetime

My heart was still reveling in the joyous moment of finding Eve and Caroline on Facebook when another pleasant surprise came escorted by a soft digital beep on my phone which I’m now slowly getting used to. You see, I just recently downloaded the Yahoo messenger app on my iPhone for the sole purpose of being able to chat with my mom whose online presence continues to spread as her newly found internet skills develop. It has been about 4 years since I practically stopped chatting with people, abandoning a used to be over-used account that now lay dormant for years. I was hesitant at first but went ahead anyway. The messenger pulled up an old list of chatmates and usernames of old friends (oh, flood of memories…do little reminders from a certain point in your life do that to you too?) I wanted to see how that app worked and so I clicked on an old acquaintance whose name had the only yellow online dot at that time.

LONGSTORYSHORT,

I was at a Chinese store buying dimsum for our weekend trip downsouth to visit my stepdaughter and her mom, stepdad and lil sis (I always look forward to seeing the entire fam), when I got a response on my YM. MERVIN.

MERV… Aaah, life!

It brought a smile to my face. An old friend. You know, like one of those people who become significant for a VERY “short” period of time in your life — short, because you mutually don’t really have that much to hold on to in order for things to stay as is.  The kind of person who is suddenly there, and also suddenly not there but parting doesn’t really weigh you down and you don’t cling to it as if you want to live the moments over and over. Instead, you tuck it in a compartment in your heart labeled “Happy Memory” (or “Growth” whichever applies) and you don’t care if it remains sealed forever, and you don’t even remember it unless triggered by very scarce reminders. Yes, that’s the kind of person I’m talking about…the one who visits and leaves a mark — oftentimes a big change— in your life. But then you both find yourselves saying, “Bye, see you when I see you. Maybe, maybe not. Have a good life.” You’re grateful, and really really mean well.

Remember that cliche? People come into our lives for a Reason, or a Season, or a Lifetime. Merv helped me my find myself during a tumultuous time when I was a bored and unhappy prisoner of a 6-year dragging, stagnant and fruitless relationship — and didn’t even know it [REASON]. (One time, sitting across me on the table, he even picked up two pencils and showed me a very animated point — see I can’t even remember the details!) But eversince then, I knew I have recollected myself, realizing that my happiness must depend on no one, and then moving on with my life armed with the strength that I found and exactly needed. That didn’t lead to me finding the perfect answers right away. It was a mistake after another [SEASONS]. But at least I moved. His words? Or his presence?  I just needed that one person to pull me out of the rut and make me do the ever-proverbial leap of faith. Wherever it was going to take me.

And now almost a decade later, here we are. He barraged me with questions: How are you??? Where are you? What do you do now? My first answer, “Very happily married.” And he said the same thing. Happily married with two very cute babies. He proudly sent me a link to his family photos, and I also proudly sent him mine.

But tomorrow is another day. I don’t find the need to keep in touch. (The mission had been fulfilled — my iPhone YM app works! Yippy for me!) And I’m sure he won’t either. We’ll go on with our own lives again, that’s for sure. Happy and busy with our own good lives, destinies, and the two very special people we chose for our own LIFETIME. His spouse and mine!



http://teacher-c.blog.friendster.com/2005/11/happy-thoughts/

Eve and Caroline

I can’t begin to tell you how happy I am. If there is one good thing that Facebook has done for me personally, I will say that it happened today. I was reunited with two special girls in my life. Two students who tried me out of my wits as a teacher some years ago, but gave me the best feelings at the end of each class day. Two girls who touched me in so many ways you can never imagine (“Teacher Clarisse, I love you more than you love me!”), escaped with me to the wonderland that was paradise for the child in me — dancing with fireflies when all we had were yellow paper dots tied to our fingers with strings and the classroom CD player. They laughed with me, cried with me, whispered little secrets in my ear. And hugged me like I was the most important person in the world — when truthfully, they were the most important people in the world, to me. So many years have passed…has it been 7 years? I’ve always wondered how they’ve been, with us spread out in our different corners of the world. Today, I got my answers. Oh how much they’ve grown! I reveled in new photos and now await more stories of their adventures following the ones we started in Kindergarten.

Eve, Caroline, this gratitude journal entry is for you!!!

My Parents

MY PARENTS.

I’m happy to receive an emailed scan of the Lifestyle page from the Philippine Daily Inquirer. It’s a pleasant surprise to see my parents’ photos from a benefit. And an uncle, an auntie and some cousins there. I’m just happy to see them. Or am I grateful that they have some worthwhile activities to distract them from the unspeakable sadness brought about by us children being too far away? I hate it when an acerbic thought like that bursts my bubble, especially since my heart is always at two places at one time and my body can’t physically fulfill it. If it is only feasible, I’ll do so in a heartbeat. Everyday. So meanwhile, let me rest in the thought that I’m happy and thankful to see my folks in the papers. Although nothing beats being physically there FOR them as they grow older. (Uh-oh, here it comes again!!!)

Okay, I’ll stop right now and just bask in the moment….the “kewlness” of it. =)

Jan 25 - Monday "Karma"

FROM http://marieclarisse.tumblr.com

Karma. It’s such a strong truth (aren’t all truths strong?) that I believe in. Not exactly in the line of punishment or retribution but simply as an “extended expression or consequence of natural acts.” From what I picked up in Wikipedia: “Karma means deed or act and more broadly names the universal principle of cause and effect, action and reaction that governs all life.

What goes around comes around.

But why am I putting this in my gratitude journal? Am I thankful for the recent news about how some people (who caused us pain) faced their own karma lately? Is this me having the last laugh after all the mental anguish we’ve gone through? Is it seeing what I knew was definitely coming? The climax to the movie that I said at one point I wanted to enjoy with a bucket of buttered popcorn? The proverbial part where the evil-doer is humbled?

NO. I’m just thankful to be reminded of this truth that keeps my soul in check.

But I must admit that I have mixed feelings about it. I’m not a hypocrite to deny that it feels nice (I’m only human), but then my heart also feels a little sorry. Besides, nothing is officially over for as long as the wheel of life keeps turning. Sometimes we’re up there, sometimes we take an unforeseen vertical drop to the abyss.

God’s Hand touches us and moves us back to the right path when we get derailed — IN SO MANY MYSTERIOUS WAYS! Sometimes it hurts, but it is imperative. I’ve seen it happen at one point in my life and I’ve paid my dues. If you’re a New Age believer, it is the universe’s way of purifying and perfecting you. But, hey, it’s the same thing, don’t you think? Just a different language. God has a way of teaching us lessons. He has a way of balancing life. He will keep our feet on the ground each time we need it and He will teach us how to be humble, how to love, share and understand, how to stand up for peace, how to work harder in order to achieve or own something…and how not to be slothful nor greedy when you have it.

I’ll be afraid for those who will seek not to be fair and those who will do others wrong because one day, the proverbial lesson that’s bound to come…will come in a gruesome package. It’s a fact of life. We get what we deserve. Even pencils get sharpened when they’re dull.

And the epic challenge is…that rule definitely applies to me.

Boy, ain’t that scary? 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lord Jesus, teach me to be generous;
teach me to serve you as you deserve,
to give and not to count the cost,
to fight and not to heed the wounds,
to toil and not to seek for rest,
to labor and not to seek reward,
except that of knowing that I do your will.

-St. Ignatius of Loyola

Bayang Magiliw

The 16^th of January has always been significant in my childhood. It meant the Town Fiesta. It meant food and family and friends and tons of fun.

Today, I celebrated my 4^th one that’s entirely different from the fiestas I’ve known. Close, but not quite. But I’m thankful that even if I’m miles away, I am able to enjoy the day as – by habit and tradition – I should.

I am thankful for the chance to sing the Philippine National Anthem (“Lupang Hinirang”) again with my right hand on my chest. Funny how each rare opportunity to sing it causes tears to well up now. When this is easily taken for granted back home…in schools, government offices or over the radio. Because it is played everyday, perhaps? Maybe because we don’t cherish what we have until the privilege is taken away. I’ll wait for the next Manny Paquiao match and once again sing it with a passion. Sometimes though, I still sing it inside my head. Sometimes in my heart. I just don’t want to forget the lyrics.

It’s amazing isn’t it? Each of us always tries to bring a little piece of home anywhere we go in this world. A movie DVD, some songs in our mother tongue, a hot aromatic pot of some dish we grew up having. Most of the time, we try to put these million little pieces together in order to recreate our lives as one people away from our motherland…oh the million parties and the celebrations! We try as much as we can to preserve the culture and our faith.  And so our roots will remain known and never forgotten, especially by the succeeding generations who no longer had the chance to experience what it was actually like.

But I am sure, these little pieces of home in our hearts are really solely meant for our own selves, so we can go on with our lives away from the home that we know, and in the way that we know best.

  

PS.

http://teacher-c.blog.friendster.com/2007/01/happy-fiesta/ (an article I wrote for the 2007 souvenir program)

"Leopard"

- last week at Coffee, Anyone? --

 

I know that the mysterious color game which pervaded women's Facebook profiles recently has raised a lot of issues. There was a message being passed around women's inboxes to post the color of their bra on the profile sans any explanation, raising the curiousity of the male population and the rest of the clueless.

The sexual innuendo was apparent, but it is actually meant to raise breast cancer awareness, so they say.

What's my take on this?

I hear Machiavelli whispering to me. "THE END JUSTIFIES THE MEANS."

Really?

That is, if you didn't miss the point of it all and have conscientiously launched thyself on a routinary self-check while you were at it. After all, it is what the game was supposed to remind us all as soon as the message hit our inboxes. If only there was an extra line on the message enjoining us to a worldwide self-exam project. I hope you didn't miss the point.

Early detection is the key, so please do your homework if you haven't yet. This is one of the causes that I feel so strongly about, regardless of the kind of publicity gimmick it takes.  It's a long story.

But now you know what I was wearing two days ago. And that I've done my homework.

Have you?

The One

What am I doing with yet another blogsite?

The news is...this is probably gonna be the last one I'll be putting up in a long, long time. I'm not going anywhere! I just believe that I have finally found THE ONE, the ever-proverbial "The One" that suits me and the vision I have for my blogging career path. It's almost tantamount to something I can marry and stick with for life.

Why?

First of all, I'm thinking of retiring my blogsite hosted by Friendster because I'm seriously contemplating on deleting my Friendster profile. Maybe, maybe not. I aim to stick to a single networking site as much as possible and Facebook pretty much answers all my networking needs, including keeping in touch with my friends. I might try and import my original blog contents here, but I'm not sure yet because my being so crazy sentimental is seriously getting in the way. That blogsite and I go along way...like 2005, way before most people jumped into the blogging bandwagon. That's also the only site I have that's squeaky clean, and I mean non-monetized, tag-free, award-free and ad-free too. I don't sell anything there, and the links are carefully chosen by me as necessary to the post, and not because some company wants me to mention it.

I'm liking it here in my new home (it makes me feel less of a gypsy now). And it feels right. Aaaah, the one...

This will be the portal for all my public spaces on the web. I'm happy with how it looks. This is my second time to utilize a template from Falcon Hive (he/she always nails it for me), and my 6th on the Blogger platform. My 2nd own domain.

I must admit...I’m absolutely embarassed by some of my blogsites because they are monetized —so you’ll see ads, product reviews and forced URL links strewn around including on my supposedly “sincerely written” posts (but don’t worry I’m still far from selling my soul, plus they rake in the moolah so I can’t complain about this no-brainer side job, really). If you're curious, check the right side of this site, I have painstakingly listed all my sites down on the side bar. A few of them might come across as narcissistic for you (ouch!), but seriously, who doesn't blog these days? And let me tell you this. I need them. I need to express myself in so many different ways because of my artistic nature. And it's almost therapy for me because it helps me sort through so many things and experiences, put things on perspective and just embrace life -- imperfections and all. I need it too because I yearn to share my experiences with you hoping that one day, there is one soul out there who will pick up something good, and what he needed exactly.

I’m still in the process of tweaking this site here and there. But I promise you that this is going to be clean, hopefully delivering only the vision, no less. Which is…which is…uhm, I’m still thinking-rethinking the process. (Well, maybe some Amazon Affiliate badges on the side won’t hurt…and some Google Adsense banners --Ad’cents’ is a better name for it, if you ask me). Not even. No paid links or entries for sure.

Woohoo!!!

Come back here for some inspiration fill once in a while. Because I'm hoping to offer that exactly!

Under One Roof

The actual date of this post is 10/11/10. Not 01/01/10. But I had to position this here because every post preceding this is actually imported from my first blogsite, my first home, "THOUGHTS AT 3AM" in Friendster which eventually became "TIL THE CRACK OF DAWN" (sort of like a face lift I toyed with when Friendster moved it to Wordpress)...

That site is (or was -- depends on when you read this) co-terminus with my Friendster account which I'm about to delete this Halloween. I am in the process of purging my social network sites because I want to stick to one. Friendster became a redundancy, so to speak, and I just hate the thought of information and photos laying around on something idle and out there and just isn't useful anymore, except for occasional blogging which also became scarce through time.

But I can't bury my memories in my Friendster blog to forgottendom if I let Friendster go! After all, it was my first online journal and the journey goes back to 2005!

I'm sentimental, and waxing nostalgic a hell lot...

WHAT A JOURNEY IT HAS BEEN!!!

I can't expound further. You can read deeper if you want to.

I'm just sayin'.



Well, from this date backward lies a 5-year memorabilia (no, it's not a grave!) of my first blogsite, made possible by an angel named Kaye (http://wahmaholic.com) who imported the entries for me because I didn't have the time. She also made sure the comments and photos came with them. Post after post after post.


Finally, my thoughts are under one roof.

So....

In memory of my first "home".

(click on the button, if it still works, then that means I haven't had the heart to extinguish my Friendster account just yet, if it doesn't work anymore, then I have truly made that leap!)

Good night, Thoughts at 3am. Good night, Til the Crack of Dawn. Good night.