PMS, Talking to a Dead Pope and Answered Prayers...

             Last week, I was walking about with these crazy self-deprecating thoughts swimming in my mind...with things like "unanswered prayers" and "impatience" hanging like daggers above my head. I was a seething volcano hating everything around me.  Hmmm, must be hormones doing the tango dips and dancing to the tune of "Achy Breaky Heart" (eeeew...elgk!).  But thanks to PMS.  I found myself talking to Pope John Paul II inside my head ---uhrmmmm, is that good or what? Hahaha. Anyways, I met a priest in Rome, Fr. Nemer, and he said if I say a prayer to PJPII, the deceased Pope might be able to put in a word for me in heaven.  Fr. Nemer said I can write it down and mail it to him because he can bring it to his tomb at the Vatican. So, I started putting my letter together in my mind.  I was folding the laundry as I launched myself into a litany of sorts, with matching tears (PMS soap opera...).

             Guess what, I don't care what you believe in...or call it coincidence or what, but I sure got two answered prayers two days after this dramatic spell.  TWO ANSWERED PRAYERS. How cool is that? Grazie, Dio!  And Grazie, PJPII...(my new bestfriend).  Hope heaven never gets tired of me.

***my new "bestfriend"

The Dog ate my Homework

We are all too familiar with this excuse.  For us, it may just qualify as a unique line to tell our teacher if we have forgotten to do our homework---this, alternating with "I must have left it in the bus",  "my mom thought it was trash" or "it must have teleported from my backpack to planet Mars".  But a teacher would know.  We're probably only a few of the zillion people who thought of that.  And we all know only fools will believe. So,it still pays to be honest and tell the truth.

But yesterday, I caught the dog chewing on my paperwork before the printer even finished spitting the whole thing out.  And so I remembered this over-used lie. I just thought it was kinda funny.  If I were still a student and were to explain the truth---dog ate my homework, then no one will believe me.  I'll probably have to say "Oh, it spontaneously combusted out of the blue". Just when you want to tell the truth, then you would have to lie.

*wow, how profound is that! duh, what's going on with me these days*

The Real Last Supper

Because of The Da Vinci Code, there's so much media hype about Jesus Christ's Last Supper...so much debate and controversy about which things are real and which ones are fictional.  Sorry, Mr. Dan Brown (though I know you're brilliant and I like the way you write), but I must say that this is the REAL thing.  Guys, if this doesn't tug at your heart strings, I don't know what else can.





"Table of Hope" by Joey Velasco (Philippines).  This is the Last Supper frame of Cardinal Rosales in the formal dining room of the Arzobispado de Manila, Intramuros.

I wonder...

On the way home the other day, I caught myself staring blankly beyond the car window and into the blurry pattern of trees we passed and the occasional glimpses of the starlit nightsky. And I caught myself thinking about some people that have once played roles in this multi-faceted movie called My Life. Those people who have faded away from the plot sans the farewell script.  And I started to wonder…

Ritchie Mendoza… I spent two sleepless nights trying to find her on Friendster. I tried to key in all name combinations imaginable on the search, but to no avail.   She and I went through a lot together. We were thesis mates at the university and co-workers after graduation. We laughed, cried and wondered about the future together.  But we somehow lost touch through time and changing jobs.  I really miss her and hope that she is happy right now.

The Man in Blue…During those summer breaks in High School, I used to go to church at 7am everyday.  There’s this tall and aging American (probably the only white guy in church) who always wore a light blue shirt over a pair of old jeans and weather-beaten DocMartens.  An expatriate for one of those industrial sites, maybe.  It always amused me to watch him receive his Holy Communion daily. Not that it’s surprising to have someone like him do that.  I just wondered, does he have a family? Where does he live? He looks very peaceful and calm. What does he do? What is he like? For a while there, he became a beacon of faith for me. I never saw him again after my college days.  With his age by now, he has probably moved ahead. 

Gerardo Torres III…PILIONE and ARTAPRE Professor, De La Salle University.  I think of him sometimes.  Like when I remember my old paintings and sketches that my bitter ex set on fire (literally, but that deserves a separate blog). Or recently, when I watched Beauty and the Geek.  Richard Rubin reminded me of him. That made me start wondering again.  Sir Gerry is a small-framed and soft-spoken person with thick eyeglasses. A simple man who did me something grand.  He included my works in an Art Exhibit in the school lobby one semester.  He believed in me.  And said that I’ll never go hungry because I can always sell my work for P 1,000.-P3,000. each.  Cheap, huh, but for an amateur like I was, that sounded pretty promising.  Does he still teach? Does he still motivate people to be in their artistic best? Is he Dean of something now?

The streetchild and his eyes…While I was parking my car a few years back, this boy, maybe around 10 years old, assisted me. Our eyes met, and I saw a pair of probably the most intense eyes I’ve ever seen in a child.  It pierced into my heart. In his eyes, I read kindness and sincerity, hardwork and honesty, innocence, seriousness, earnestness, simplicity, maturity, and other things way beyond his years. I still feel a punch in my stomach every time I try to remember that face.  I can’t begin to tell you how I felt that day. I suddenly wanted to transfer my fully paid Honda CRV to his name, maybe out of pity, or concern…or guilt that I’ve been more blessed? I hope he’s living a better life now.  I hope he’s in school, not out on the streets.  I hope he’s eating well.  I hope he is still what his eyes showed me. 

I wondered about a lot of other people too on the way home that night. But then I also started to wonder, do old friends ever think about how I’m doing now? With my life being an open book, and my gazillion blogs to boot, maybe I don’t leave enough space for wonder.  Whether that’s good or bad, it doesn’t matter.  But how about those routine strangers like the man in blue and the streetchild with no name...Do they remember me at all? Have I ever been an interesting stranger to someone too?  Do they wonder about me as well? I wonder…

Coffee Comedy

           I have a DKNY tote bag that I love so much because it's a simple white tote and I could throw a lot of stuff in it.  The catch though, it could get very disorganized in there. So I found the most plausible solution for it before my OC-ness drove me nuts.  I placed a pouch inside so that my valuables like wallet, car key, cellphone and sunglasses won't play circus with my book, pen, lipstick, hairbrush, rosary, gum, smints, hand sanitizer, 2-wk old corn nuts, receipts, underwear (*joke*), dead PDA, lotto tickets and what-nots.  It's the kind of pouch that you can close by pulling the string and knotting it (do we really have to knot it by the way?)  Virtually, a bag within a bag.

So I went to Starbucks the other day to get my usual Grande Iced Cafe Mocha (decaf, non-fat).  I had my tote bag with me.  The routine went on as usual. I placed my order, I gave my name, the cashier rang it up...until it was time for me to pay.  I dug into my bag for my pouch.  When I finally got it, I couldn't see from outside the bag where the string was, so I knew I had no choice but to take it out.  I seriously debated against it because the guy behind the register was waiting for me, looking. And I didn't want to risk looking like the stereotype of an old lady miser who keeps her moolah in little money sacks (my pouch looked like one!)  So I just partially took it out, with half of the pouch still inside.

           Thank God I found the string.  It must have been the longest 8 seconds of my life.  Then, lo and behold! I couldn't loosen the knot!!!  I had a DKNY bag but I surely didn't seem like someone who could afford to pay my caffeine fix for the day.  So in my head I counted "One...Two...Three....PULL".  The knot wouldn't budge.  I tried it a few more times and realized I was really embarassing myself.  Being the candid person that I am,  I even muttered something like "Please bear with me, I'm having a hard time with thi...*voice fading out*. It would have been a breeze had the cashier been more successful at hiding his reaction.  Though he said "It's okay, Ma'am, take your time", his face was so flushed from trying hard not to laugh.  He also bursted out with a fake cough to mask that laugh (Hey, I've done that before!) and spun around twice, coughing.  Either I looked so FOB-ish (Fresh Off the Boat-ish), "jologs", or just plain comical.  But it was not just the longest 8 plus another 30 seconds of my life, it was also quite a hilariously embarassing one.

             Finally, the knot decided to save me from begging from strangers to pay for my drink.  At the back of my head, I was already rehearsing my script, "Hey Mister, excuse me, but can you pay for my drink first. I swear I have money inside this pouch...but I can't quite take it out...unless I cut it or something".  *Hmmm*...that sounded pretty devious to me...

           Well, I'm not sure if I was able to give you a clear graphic sense of what went on, but I definitely think it was so funny.  I was laughing at myself as soon as I claimed my cup til I sipped the last of the mocha.   

           Well, it was a good one.  By the way, the pouch is no longer there.

Kaya mo yan!

“The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.”   -Walter Bagehot

Easter Resolutions

          I believe in making resolutions, in ceremonial "from now ons" made on special occasions and accompanied by rituals to symbolize the end of what you want to end, and the beginning of what you want to change.  I guess it's only human nature that we seek special days to finally do it.  No wonder those self-search-popsych-leadership seminar moguls make so much money...on poor lost souls! (I used to lead these things y'know, hehehe).  It does help, though.  That is, if you keep your flame burning and not let the high fizzle out. 

           But here's a cheap way to get your act together on some things.   Choose New Year's Eve to finally get rid of a habit.  Or Easter Sunday for that matter.  Or maybe your birthday. Or maybe your neighbor's birthday.  For me, I like weather-proofing my life on Easter Sunday because it symbolizes resurrection.  A rebirth.  So last weekend, I went on a quick soul-search for cracks , wear and tear of my soul (in between updating my Friendster, ofcourse).  Here are a few resolutions that I have made.  I am writing it down as a form of commitment to myself, and to others, with you as my witness.  (Geez, I wrote so much intro only to probably bore you to death with my stuff).  Please bear with me, and cheer for me, ok?

1)   Be more thoughtful and in-touch.  (I am a loving person, but I am very lousy at keeping in touch)  I will answer text messages, emails and snail mails right away.  Return phone calls and greet people on their birthdays, anniversaries, etc.  I realize the real essence of LOVE is lost if the giver does not connect to the receiver.

2)  Go back to my diet since I gained 7 lbs in Rome.

3)  Be more loving to my hubby.  I love him a lot, but he spoils me so much already that sometimes I don't hear him. Sometimes, I only hear me.  Bad girl.

4)  I will read the daily papers more often. 

5) I will wake up earlier than usual (like I used to) so I can get more projects done.  See the sun rise, hopefully, and enjoy a good breakfast instead of brunch. 

6) I will sleep earlier than usual, for health reasons, and NOT stay up until 3am in the morning.  (But then I would have to change the title of my blogsite?...)

WHAT'S YOURS?

Jimmy Choo & Stuart Weitzman

I wept because I had no shoes, until I saw a man who had no feet. -- Ancient Persian Saying

Advanced Happy Easter

My Ate Shelly forwarded this email to me. Thank you. I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH.

(check out that Royal Photo of Her Highness in the bus!) ----> 

HOW TO STAY YOUNG (and happy)

1. Try everything twice. On Madams tombstone (of Whelan's and Madam) she said she wanted this epitaph: Tried everything twice...loved it both times!

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down. (keep this in mind if you are one of those grouches;)

3. Keep learning:      Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain get idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop! ." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's!

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath. And if you have a friend who makes you laugh, spend lots and lots of time with HIM/HER.

6. The tears happen: Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves.  LIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love: Whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home should be your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it.  If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

11. Forgive now those who made you cry. You might not get a second time.

And if you don't send this to at least 4 people - who cares? But do share this with someone.

(Have a Blessed Holy Week, and advanced HAPPY EASTER, everyone!  For Christ's sake (I meant literally, hehehe)...read the Bible, not the Blog :o)

Rome Hangover Part II

My SUPPLI according to Google...

Italian Stuffed Rice Balls (Suppli alla Telefono)

Suppli alla Telefono is Italian rice balls stuffed with mozzarella cheese and topped with pomodora sauce. I thought I died and went to heaven when I took my first bite of these scrumptous appetizers.

SUPPLI RICE BALLS
4	cloves garlic, diced
4	tablespoons olive oil
1/2	onion, chopped
8	ounces arborio rice or risotto rice, cooked (italian)
3	tablespoons fresh basil, chopped
2	ounces butter, melted
3	ounces parmesan cheese, freshly grated
1	buffalo mozzarella
2	ounces sun-dried tomatoes
2	ounces flour
2	eggs, beaten
4	ounces fresh white breadcrumbs
	vegetable oil (for frying)
	salt & freshly ground black pepper
POMODORA SAUCE
1	cup chopped red onions
2	lbs fresh tomatoes, cut in half,seeded,and diced
2	tablespoons fresh garlic
4	ounces red wine
4-6	tablespoons fresh basil, chopped
4	tablespoons fresh chives, snipped
4	tablespoons fresh parsley, chopped
1	teaspoon salt
	pepper
1/2-1	teaspoon crushed red chili peppers
1/2-1	teaspoon crushed red chili peppers

4-8 servings / 2 hours 30 minutes / 2 hrs prep

~~~RICEBALLS~~~

1. Heat the olive oil in a pan with the garlic and onion.



2. Cook until soft and add the basil.



3. Add the cooked rice, season and blend it all together well.



4. Pour the rice into a bowl, place in the fridge to chill.



5. When cold, fold in the Parmesan and butter.



6. Divide the rice into small balls of equal size pieces.



7. Cut the mozzarella and sun dried tomatoes into half inch size pieces.



8. Push a piece of mozzarella and tomatoes into the center of each rice ball.



9. Reform the rice, pulling back over the cheese and tomato, ensuring it is completely enclosed.



10. Coat the rice balls in seasoned flour (salt and pepper) then beaten egg, then into the breadcrumbs.



11. Deep fry the balls in hot vegetable oil for 3-5 minutes until golden and crisp.



12. Drain on kitchen paper.



13. ~~~POMODORASAUCE~~~.



14. Spray a large nonstick skillet with cooking spray and heat over medium heat until hot.



15. Add red onion and garlic and saute until onion is soft.



16. Add red wine and reduce heat slightly.



17. Add tomatoes, basil, chives and parsley and remove from heat.



18. You want the ingredients just heated, not actually cooked.



19. Season with salt, pepper, and sugar.



20. Place Suppli (Rice Balls) on a platter and pour the sauce on and around the Rice Balls.

Are you hungry yet?

Memorie Preziose della mia Avventura Italiana

Italy gave me so much more than just a handful of memories and thoughts to bring back home...the beautiful old ruins of Rome (a wonderful present from the past...if only they can speak and tell us things we can only speculate about), the cobblestoned streets (a feast for the eyes, but a torture to the feet --- my high-heeled-booted feet!), the terribly small SMART cars (I didn't want to risk riding in one) vis-a-vis the wreckless yet incredibly skillful Italian drivers, the beautiful cathedrals, the awesome Italian countryside...the flock of sheep, the rows of olive trees...the list goes on...

But my heart has handpicked a bunch of precious memories that will be etched in my heart forever. To name a few...

.....the teary eyes of my smiling wheelchair-bound aunt, Tita Rosie, upon coming out of the Fumicino airport, seeing Rome for the first time.  Tita Rose, you made it!

.....witnessing my "Tito Father" (my mom's brother, who I grew up calling "Daddit") being made "His Eminence Gaudencio Cardinal Rosales" by no less than the Pope Benedict XVI himself at the Vatican

.....seeing "Tito Father" upclose, walking about in his full black and red Cardinal regalia for the first time at the dinner hosted by the Philippine Embassy in Rome. What a sight to behold...

.....spending quality time with my hubby, dressing up like we own the world, taking 60 million pictures together and apart, and kissing after every winning shot

.....waving the Filipino flag amongst the international delegates in the crowd

.....shivering in the cold at St. Peter's Square on the first day, and melting under the hot sun on the next

.....listening to that well-known, rich and fashionable animalprint and fur-clad lady sitting with us say three times to me "I love the way you colored your hair, how did you do it?"

.....seeing the Church of Sta. Maria Maggiore bursting to its seams with Filipinos working and living in Italy and singing our "Lupang Hinirang" with them.  That made me cry.

.....holding Therese while she was sleeping throughout the whole mass at Sta. Maria Maggiore

.....seeing Pope Benedict XVI from special seats for three days in my life and seeing my parents overjoyed from their being able to hold and kiss his hand

.....seeing the tombs of my favorite Saints: St. Francis of Assisi and St. Clare (my patron saint whom my parents got my name from); and saying hello and praying to the tombs of St. Peter, the first Pope and ofcourse, the late Pope John Paul II

.....seeing Michelangelo's Pieta...being able to get inside the Sistine Chapel...seeing the ruins of Pompeii (which I only used to talk about with my sister when we were kids)

  .....finally seeing the spots that I enjoyed seeing in my mind in Mr. Dan Brown's book: the roman fountains,  the staircase lit by tiny lamps from the altar of the Basilica of St. Peter leading to his tomb, the obelisks, Castel Sant'Angelo, etc.

....."wine being cheaper than soda and as common as water" ---Alcoholic Alter Ego!

.....my favorite fizzy/carbonated water being a staple in restaurants and stores, not just another dispensable option (I've been in love with Perrier eversince I was young)

.....LIMONCELLO, MY LIMONCELLO! 

.....the wonderful tiny shots of Espresso or Capuccino and finally enjoying them from decent breakable china instead of paper disposable cups. Hella real. (I'm sorry, Starbucks)

.....The regular tests of bravery and reflex whenever we cross the street from the Eurostars Hotel to Carrifour Supermarket and Mall (I always feared for my life whenever I crossed that road! I even tried coming up with lame excuses to avoid it)

.....walking down Via Condotti and going inside the original GUCCI store (Aldred pretended to be busy window-shopping on his own lest I catch his eye anytime to say...Mahal, can I buy this? *joke*)

.....my funny attempts to speak with the very little (and choppy) Italian words I  know and somehow still getting my messages across.  I'm proud of that.

.....the night Aldred got sick, mumbling like a helpless little baby and wanting me to hug him from the back and just spoon like that all night long

.....Mommy and Daddy taking goofy and happy pictures on the cruise to Capri

.....Lissa and Roy being trigger-happy with their cameras and competing against each other for the perfect shot...Roy as "Team Leader" of the kiddie group

.....my countryside adventure with my hubby and cousins to Citta di Sutri and Tuscania, walking around their piazza while having shots of my new love, Cointreau (French???), from yes, disposable plastic cups.

.....my first ocean sunset in Italy, watching every second of it while cruising back to Naples from Capri

.....the nightly parties at Roy and RJ's room, eating instant noodles, fruits dipped in nutella, crackers, Italian twinkies, beef jerky, Granola bars, Tim Tam and red wine (what a crazy food trip!) while downloading pics and bashing the travel agency hehehe

.....Marcus and Joaquin singing in the bus.

.....Ninong Nitoy's boys sleeping in the bus.

.....Ate Shelly sitting like a queen in the bus to Tuscania. I'm happy she's happy.

.....Kuya Joe and I, talking about his childhood days with Lolo and Lola during the two-hour bus ride back to the hotel while everyone else was sleeping.

.....Mitch making new international friends at the hotel. Her smile and undying energy. Her serving as a tour guide even if it's also her first time there.  Grazie!!!

.....watching my hubby in Tuscania, drinking in the scenery and all.  (It's a dream come true for him and me, we have always wanted to visit the Italian countryside way before this family trip to Italy hatched)

.....visiting a photographer's gallery in Sutri and buying one of his works autographed with "a Clarissa e Aldred.....and something else in Italian we can only hope means something good"

.....Trina falling, hurting her knees while still being able to save the salad take out in her hands. RJ couldn't help her because of the breakable souvenirs he was holding.  FUNNY ;P

.....Joei waking up too early for one of the events (it was only 2am!)

.....The electric train that almost split our bus in half...Trina's blood-curdling scream hehehe

.....having my portrait done at Piazza Navona (even if it didn't bear a single resemblance to me)

.....eating Crepe di Marnier, tartuffo and gelatto in galactic proportions

.....tossing the coins at Fontana di Trevi

.....my Italy-wide search for my winner SUPPLI (Deep-fried, crumb-coated Rice Croquettes with tomato sauce and mozarella)

.....Kuya Billy and his words of wisdom...his affection for everyone in the family and admirable efforts to make up for lost time...

.....Tito Gabby and his family...my crying cousins Crissy, Steph and Cindy

MOST OF ALL.....being able to spend time with my family and Rosales relatives who flew in from different parts of the world (some I've never even seen or heard of before), in an exclusive gathering on the night of March 23, 2006. This thing called "LUKSO NG DUGO" in Filipino? I felt it that one night at the Pontificio Collegio Filippino...Kindred spirits. It made my heart sing. It was so strong I wanted to keep hugging everyone and just never ever let go.  GRAZIE PER TUTTO, DIO!

Doggie Style 101

Someone sent me an SMS saying "What is Love? Love is when a puppy licks you all over your face, even after you have left him all day."

(Sorry guys, I was just tripping about the title. I know I will lure a lot of people into this blog with it. You, dirty minds!  Well, it takes one to know one...Hehehe.)

We have a dog. His name is Milo.  And we love him so dearly.  He's family!  I started training and taking care of him after my sis Trina, who's supposed to be his adoptive mom, left him with us.  He's so adorable, cute, funny and he does strange people-like things that you'd sometimes think maybe he doesn't know he is just a dog (well, what does a dog know anyway?). He is very loyal, always there by my side, following me around even if he's all tired and sleepy.  And he just sits there, watching me. But he's very naughty too.  He chews on anything he gets his eyes on...or anything that he can grab.  Toilet-training drives us up the wall too, and up to this day, there will be occasional hits and misses. 

One day, I spanked him so bad after he uprooted a plant and ate some soil. (Yuck!) I know it must have hurt because he gave out that high-pitched puppy cry. And for it to come from a big, hairy, terrier!!!  He ran away from me, limping and terrified.

Then after only a few minutes, he came back and licked me and kissed me, and started following me everywhere like usual. Showing me love as if I never did anything bad.  Looking into his eyes, I saw no grudge, only a lot of affection. I felt so bad for hitting and hurting him.  I felt really embarassed and wanted to kick myself.

What right do I have to train and teach this dog? He's the one teaching me a lot of things.

Tonsilitis

9:20 pm...*gulp*...hmmm, kinda hurting.

9:22 pm...*gulp*...yeah, it is hurting!

9:25 pm...*gulp*...wait a minute. Hurting again???

Hey, you, Tonsilitis. Just what is your business creeping back into my life again? I just got done with you 2 weeks ago. So, you like me? Well, I don't like you. I just don't need you right now. I'll be going on a holiday starting Sunday. Go away!!!

Living a Life that Matters

My aunt emailed this to me last night. Worth reading.

Ready or not, some day it will all come to an end. There will be no more sunrises, no minutes, hours or days. All the things you collected, whether treasured or forgotten will pass to someone else.

Your wealth, fame and temporal power will shrivel to irrelevance. It will not matter what you owned or what you were owed. Your grudges, resentments, frustrations and jealousies will finally disappear. So too, your hopes, ambitions, plans and to do lists will expire.

The wins and losses that once seemed so important will fade away. It won't matter where you came from or what side of the tracks you lived on at the end. It won't matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant. Even your gender and skin color will be irrelevant.

So what will matter? How will the value of your days be measured?

What will matter is not what you bought but what you built, not what you got but what you gave. What will matter is not your success but your significance. What will matter is not what you learned but what you taught.

What will matter is every act of integrity, compassion, courage, or sacrifice that enriched, empowered or encouraged others to emulate your example. What will matter is not your competence but your character.

What will matter is not how many people you knew, but how many will feel a lasting loss when you're gone. What will matter is not your memories but the memories that live in those who loved you. What will matter is how long you will be remembered, by whom and for what.

Living a life that matters doesn't happen by accident. It's not a matter of circumstance but of choice.

This is Rex Barker, CS (Choosing Substantiality over superficiality ) reminding you to "Choose to live a life that matters."

My First Hate Mail

        Not a lot of things pretty much shock or frustrate me to death. I've seen people cry and I've seen people die. Ofcourse, these things move me. I grieve and I cry like anyone. But somewhere deep down inside always lies a kind of resignation that gives me peace in my heart no matter what. So I was completely stunned at myself when, for once in my life, I was restless. I got my first hate mail.

        And the most shocking thing is...I got it for writing down good things in this Friendster Blog. So I sang to myself "Tell...me...where did...I...go...wrong? (do you know that song...hehehe). So in a nutshell, someone apparently thought I was aiming the bullet at her. I was talking about my own happiness (Check out the Blog: Dream Come True). It's about the gains I got for helping out someone in her wedding ---who happens to be the hate-mail-author's friend..or ex-friend...whatever. She thought I was talking about my own joys to spite her (because she chose to stay out of the wedding).  When did my happiness ever come to be about someone else's sourness? (Lynn V...I know you're out there reading this.  Isn't this an exemplar of your comment in my "My Birthday Thoughts" blog?) So again, please sing with me "Tell...me...where did...I...go...wrong? (harharhar again, well, at least please laugh with me!).  *SIGH* Okay, so I wrote back.  Usually, common sense and good breeding keep me from stooping down that low. But, I am a firm believer of fairness and justice. And so I didn't take it sitting down (I'm so disappointed at myself...but well, sh*t happens...)

        I also told my wise friend about it. She said, "Aren't you happy? You're having an audience in your Friendster Blog!  Isn't that one of your dreams? To be able to inspire a lot of people about little things, like what Mr. Fulghum does?" But this one sure didn't seem "inspired", honey (and if I were to play with my words...I must say...this one sounded like she's "expired"!).  My friend said..."You don't get the point, sweetie.  That means you're able to reach inside the hearts of a lot of people." (Well, yes, I know there are people who tell me they read me, and most of the time they have encouraging remarks).  She said, good-natured reactions represent only a section of the population, just one half of the people. It's the anti-thesis that completes the picture.  Ergo, if you get just one negative reaction, you know you've made it. That's a lot of reach!  Wow, so I have both now.  The Yin and the Yang...the sweet and the sour...the good and the bad people...the positive and the negative.  That completes me. Plus, we really can't please everyone. It all makes sense. 

PS. For the record, and contrary to the accusation....I never ever write my blogs on purpose to negatively aim at someone. I'm also a strong believer of honesty and integrity. So, honestly, if there really is one blog that even comes close to it ...it would be this one.  Hi there! I hope you're not suffering from hypertension, because here, I'm sipping my coffee...restless no more ;o)

If symptoms persist...Do not consult your Google

I have not been feeling perfectly well since I came back from the North. Is it the food? Maybe it's just over-fatigue. I have been staying up extra late these days to do this email coordination task for our upcoming trip to Rome (don't you guys ever wonder why I seem to have plenty of time doing my blogs online, hehehe). I'm actually very busy and it’s just that thinking out loud happens to be one of my favorite stress relievers. So I type away, while the printer prints away! With very little energy I have right now (from sleepless nights, to those freaking diet rules, and having missed the gymn for eons), the only thing that drives me now is that, finally I am going to see the rest of my mom’s family again. And ofcourse do some kind of honeymooning with hubby in between Vatican ceremonies and big family reunions. But I'm feeling pretty sick actually...I mean literally. After a one week bout with tonsilitis, I felt a lump on my neck – the doctor said it’s just some lymph nodes reacting to my throat infection so he gave me Antibiotics --- super strong-broad spectrum kind…and then I developed this weird allergy to the metabolized form of this medication (whatever my cousin meant with that!), I felt tingles all over my face...I got totally scared that I forced the doctor to look me up three more times and all he said was “Relax, it’s nothing!”…and so to shut me up, he made me undergo a battery of blood tests that includes ruling out tumors, even leukemia and the like! Duh!... Duh ME...! They yielded normal results except for saying…slightly elevated euno-something…euno what? Because I think I have irritated my doctor, I felt so embarrassed to bombard him with questions again…so I consulted the most handy source of information these days…the internet. I googled it and lo and behold! It says the case is associated with some kinds of “out-of-this-world”-termed illnesses they might as well be written in French! Cystic-supercalifragelistic-ish diseases. That scared the hell out of me even more. So I had no choice but to run back to the doctor’s clinic. He said “This is what happens when you read too much, react too much and jump into conclusions. You're not gonna die. Your blood results only mean that you have allergies”. I wanted to say “But…” then decided to listen. Allergy it is then! I rest my case. Whew!

@#"TaCsIyApO!!!"@#%

On the way home from our trip to Baguio two weeks ago, we stopped by this place called Herona in Tarlac.  We wanted to check out this restaurant called "Isdaan".  It's made of floating bamboo rafts tied to one another to create floating cottages, each with dining tables for groups of customers.  It's beautiful in there. A little jungle-like, with passageways guarded by giant statues that reminded me of some lost civilization.  But what really made it famous is the Tacsiyapo Wall.  For those who haven't heard of it, it's actually a small 4-corner nook with three concrete walls and is open at the front.  It's like your typical amusement park game where you throw rings to win a prize. Except that here, the stuff in front of you aren't prizes. And you don't throw rings.  Instead, you choose among the items there, pay for them, and yes, you get to throw them on the concrete wall.  No targets to hit.  Just a lot of anger to release! No kidding! We were so excited we forgot to ask what "Tacsiyapo" meant but eventually deduced the fact that it probably is like "Dang!" or "Sh*t" or maybe something beyond what is printable. Well, it was as good as it promised to be. We picked plates to throw simply because they were the cheapest find.  But you should have seen those broken TV sets! I mustered all my strength, thought about that one single person on earth that still upsets me to no end just by mere mention of her name (yes, I'm no saint, dahling). Then with a lot of adrenaline rush, I screamed her name followed by the word "Tacsiyapo!" and then threw my plates to the wall, frisbee-style.  With my background in Psychology, this type of activity, for it's therapeutic value, isn't new to me at all but I sure found it novel for it to sit right in the middle of a restaurant. Brilliant! So, okay, back to my plates...yes, I broke them into smithereens.  I did it for fun, but the therapeutic value of it hit me. Right in the pit of my stomach. It brought me close to tears (not that much drama really, just close to tears...well, there were tears, but not even close to the kind of sobbing that "feel good movies" are made of). But yeah, it hit me. It felt like suddenly all the pent up emotions that kept lingering in me, despite a million attempts to let them go, just ignited and burned off an adequate amount of anger content. But if you think I'm not angry anymore, no. I'm still angry. I'm just being true to myself. But it's more like a peaceful war deep down inside now. Maybe til the next wave. Or til the next snowball of thought that I hope will no longer grow with every bit of bitter recollection. Maybe I should quit thinking. Wait a minute, why am I talking about this now. I'll probably just talk about it in one of my future blogs.

Meanwhile, it's all about the Tacsiyapo Wall. Kudos to the men behind the concept. We really had a lot of fun. Now, we know where to go when we want a release. Because certainly, we would not want to do it at home.

   

 

Dream Come True

Yesterday, I did something that made me so happy.

My former classmate at the Dance School called me up Friday night to say it's her wedding the following day. That was yesterday. She even asked if I wanted to swing by the hotel during her preparations to say hi and see her. I had second thoughts about that because I have already made other commitments beforehand. I didn't know what to do at such a short notice, but I completely understood that she was rushing her wedding because she needed to work it in between immigration procedures. We were talking about this plan a few months back.  So I decided to work out my schedule and go anyway. I did this for two things: 1. I felt special that she wanted me to celebrate it with her (considering that we're new at the friendship department) and 2. I'm a big fan of weddings (knowing that this is a special once-in -a-lifetime occasion---well, for most people, and I don't want to miss it for the world). If only I can afford to change careers, Wedding Coordination will be on the Top 5 of my options.  I know it's one of the things I can be really good at. At the hotel, she was so happy to see me and I was so happy to witness it.  Then they got ready for the church.  I felt bad because her group needed all the help they could get.  She did them all by herself! And so...*DRUMROLL PLEASE*...Madam Clarisse decided to step in.  I was so happy to pitch in, I started telling the photographers (who happened to be big ones in the industry) "Hey take this good photo moment...yada yada yada".  I helped deliver flowers and stuff from the hotel to the church, in my car.  It was so funny because one thing led to another. Since I was holding the flowers, head pieces and bouquets, people started asking ME! "Ma'am, who's next in line? What's the order of the procession? One flower girl has no headpiece...do you have an extra?".  I didn't have the time to say "Sorry deary, in fact, the only one I know here is the bride, and I can barely remember her last name!". I just kept doing my best to be of help.  Even at the last moment, I was the one telling the bride, "Smile, walk slowly on the aisle, savor the moment". This carried on to the reception. I made sure that I put the cake slicer and the couple's wine glasses where they should be and circulated the guest book. After the party, I brought some of the bride's things back to the hotel (because the bellboy made me promise to return the room's wicker baskets when I was on my way out). And while I was at it, I made sure they made the room tidy and clean again after the mess of the wedding preps. Oooh all crisp and ready for Honeymoon night... I never had so much fun in my life! I have always been awed by the wedding planners/coordinators featured each week in the TV show "Whose Wedding Is It Anyway?" and I realized I almost looked like one of them yesterday, although not totally (coz I didn't really do the whole thing...can't really give myself 100% of the credit!). But I'm proud of what I've done. That's my good deed for the day.  But you see, that was good karma bouncing back right that very moment.  I know the couple was happy for my help.  Little do they know, they made me very happy too.  They opened the line for two of the many things that matter a lot in life...1.) Make oneself useful for someone else's happiness, UNCONDITIONALLY. And 2.) Even for a single day, make someone's dream come true. Without them knowing it, they did #2 to me...

To Wear or Not to Wear, That is the Problem...

I believe majority of my sisters in my species will agree.  A bra is quite uncomfortable to wear at times, and we're like eternally stuck to wearing it. Not that I totally loathe the idea because it's fun and sexy most of the time...those black lace ones I love, those fabrics that enhance you or the ever loyal supportive kind that hugs snuggly for physical action like dancing and working out.  And oh, those hot ones that feel so good being peeled off by someone else hehehe. But I must admit that I am totally revolted by those tightly wired ones and those that short of squeeze the life out of you. (Yesterday, I "de-boned" one of my expensive ones. But then, it didn't look nice).  So, isn't it "OH SOOO LUV-LEY!" to walk about, run around, or "bounce" about like all of a sudden you feel a cool breeze around you like you've never known before. I personally would prefer to go commando (the female version) at times, if only they don't attract that much attention...Oh well. All you sisters who agree with me, raise your right........(hand).

To Dance, or Not To Dance...that is the question.

Today, I received a letter from my former dance school saying that I'm entitled to a 2-month scholarship in Manila.  But it's in Manila...but I so wanna get it!...They also said that if we qualify, we might even get a One Full Year Scholarship...I don't know...Priorities are different now...plus, it's in Manila...how?...oh well...just thinking out loud...I don't want to say that this will be that one big opportunity that got away...Perhaps I should ask Marta...or Sandra...hello you guys...are you taking it?...can you hear me?... How about you guys in Friendster...What do you think?

My Supermarket Secret

I just realized...everytime I get bored, I make a side trip inside the supermarket to check out those food sample freebies on the promo booths.  Just thought I'd share it with you guys. It's a fun way of getting a good snack when you don't feel like spending. Trust me it's fun (and surprising too!).  Talk to the serving lady and say, "wow it looks good"...sometimes, pretend you're going to buy some. Well, sometimes I end up buying the stuff I try anywayz. (Like today, I brought home this new Lite Butter, yummy!)...Or most of the time, I grab the goody and just leave it out at the check-out counter, hehehe. Cheap huh.  Well, that's the cheap bone in my body workin'. I can almost hear my Als saying "Cheap Ass, Wifey!". But come to think of it, we make those promo guys happy about their jobs! ;o)

Philippines, My Philippines!

I went on a typical Balikbayan tour to Manaoag, Pangasinan...Baguio...Vigan, Ilocos...Tarlac, Pampanga.  I had a blast with hubby's La Familia from California!

I say typical balikbayan tour...learning about history of the Spanish occupation...the Jap War...a pilgrimage to the wonderful old churches...the scenery...the SUNSET! (best one for me, so far!)...and there's so much delicious food shoved down our throats...enough to feed a family for a month, and we gulped it all down in 4 freakin' days! I wish more Filipinos will try to see "Our Home" first instead of discovering it's beauty only after having left Philippines.  There's so much to see within this side of the fence!

Philippines is beautiful.  It's awesome and it's MY Philippines. It's my HOME. It always will be, wherever I go. (nothwithstanding the fact that it's very hot and it gives me a fat waistline!)

    

To my dearest Friend

Hi! You probably won't get to read this,  but I'm writing anyway.  I have a headache, but it doesn't keep me from wanting to say all that needs to be said.


Exactly one year ago, or almost...you disappeared.  You totally, totally disappeared from my life. Not just mine, but seemingly from everyone's...your other "friends". We don't know why. Well, maybe we do a bit, but how come you didn't even leave a word? No goodbyes, no messages. Nothing.  You disappeared like a bubble.  Gone.


This left me feeling angry and sad.  But as I think about it, my anger probably rooted from selfishness.  I guess my thoughts were just too focused on myself, on what kind of a friend I have been.  I was sad and angry because maybe I wasn't a good enough friend for you.  I thought I could help but I fell short. And I thought we both will live up to our promise of being "angels" looking out for each other. After all that's what both our full names say. Thinking of that is damn too selfish, ain't it?  I should weep for you and not for myself.  I should weep not for me being deserted or for losing a friend and a shoulder to cry on, but for you who is fighting your own battle out there.  It's probably tough.


Wherever you are, I hope you are doing alright...or even better. I may be happy with my life, but it doesn't mean we can't be friends if you are unhappy with yours.   I always pray that you will find the same blessings I found, and that you will finally discover the grand design that God has prepared for you.  There's always one for each one of us. Maybe this is part of your design. Walk further and go for it! And when you are ready to come back to the world... and to our friendship, I'm still here for you. Just waiting. I don't break my promises.

Random Thoughts

Ala-Una. Madaling araw na.Malamig ang simoy ng hangin...hindi naman pasko. Tahimik. Natutulog ang aso sa paanan ko, habang umaandar ang electric fan. Kaya siguro lalong lumamig. Nag-iisa ako. Kamusta na kaya ang asawa ko? Sana mag-enjoy sila sa Tahoe kasama si Felipe. Bakla ba yun? Hehehe. Joke lang. Hinihintay ko ma-install ang Google Earth sa PC ko. Para masilip ko na ang mga bahay ng mga asungot sa buhay ko! Hehehe. Miss ko na ang mga kaibigan ko. Si Peter, si Dave, si Willie. Lahat lalaki! Ang hirap palang magsulat sa Filipino. Nababaluktot ang utak ko. Teka, sino pa ba ang nami-miss ko? Lahat ng kabarkada ko noong isang taon. Inuman, kainan...mga halakhak.  Wala na atang patutunguhan itong sinusulat ko. Lumulutang na ang isip ko. Tatapusin ko na ito. Bakit lahat ng sentence...(ano nga ang tagalog sa sentence?)..ah, pangungusap...bakit lahat halos ng pangungusap ko nagtatapos sa "o". Ay, windang na ako.  Sa wakas, gumagana na ang Google Earth...aabangan kita sa bahay mo!

Sh*t happens...

Last January, I was trying to fix some pearl accessories to give my mom. I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER-GLUED MY TWO FINGERS TOGETHER. ...(Aldred kept laughing and I kept screaming..."It ain't funny!"--- < I had morbid thoughts of nurses slicing them apart with a knife>. Well, hubby ended up loving me more for my funny clumsiness.")

Last February, my aunt's flight was cancelled due to excessive snow in the airport of destination - Narita, Japan. (She ended up stuck in a nice hotel and so I met her there to enjoy the sumptuous lunch buffet!)

Today, as soon as I got back from my trip up North, I rushed to my PC to catch up on my Basic Italian lessons.  Only to find out that my audio doesn't work! THE DOG CHEWED ON MY SPEAKER CABLES..yes, cable with an "s"...(I'll probably be buying a better one pretty soon).

I don't know why I'm writing this. Just thought I'd document this to remind me that life is a series of random positive and negative events that exempts no one...that regardless of what you do or who you are, there will be times when fate will pick on you. That's one truth I have been embracing for years (learning it the hard way) and it has always helped me cruise through life...nice, sweet and easy. It's a struggle sometimes still, but everytime I remind myself of this truth, serenity sets in...

I get frustrated when some people still don't get the point. Besides, everything happens for a reason. I believe there's always a brighter side to things. In fact, there are still some "silver linings" I'm waiting for in my life right now, but I know they are probably just around the corner.  I can't wait!