For Toni

Just a little something which a young "friend" asked from me. My response to her thoughts:

HEY THERE! I guess one big reason why I'm drawn to your blogs is because they make me retrace the steps I made in the same school halls...18 1/2 friggin' yrs. ago (I would have raised one almost grown up person since then) and this is my post-"you at the present"-me wanting to share what I've learned thus far (not by books, but by experience):

1. Fear is USUALLY bigger than the actual situation --most of the time! but fear is healthy, it drives us to do more...in order to achieve a fearless/painless state (our perceived success). Hate to burst that bubble but once we get into the next step...there's more fear-inducing things...it's a life-long process/cycle of facing and overcoming. It is one of the catalysts of GROWTH. and to grow is something we do for life. (which gets us to #2)

2. The challenges in school get us ready for the real-life challenges out there (it makes us feel more confident in tackling them because we know we've been there, done that...lalala)..it also holds true when we take the challenges of the first job...then when we proceed to the next..and unto the next (why do you think there is such a cliche as "LIFE IS A SCHOOL" --because it rings a hell lot of truth in it, from generation to generation.

3. Get the "chess game" mindset. If you think they are outsmarting you...try to look for ways to outsmart them...rather than get intimidated. No one else can judge your capabilities (nor put you down) but teachers have a right for now...that's what they are there for!!! as long as it still is a healthy challenge --and is not truly EXTREMELY morally and psychologically damaging. (you know what I mean)...give them that right for now. It's what the tuition is for. The universe conspires to make things happen around you because you need it, ergo, God feels you need it...in a religous point of view, He is getting you ready for something bigger. That's something for certain.

4. 18 years from now now..or even 5, maybe even 3, your teacher's opinion or grades won't matter. (but it's up to you if you want to keep that engraved in your heart forever)...while it is good to get good grades and be a diligent student (it's all about your participation now in the formation of the future "you"---and good grades will get you a better job than others in some cases...better job=better opportunities; and ofcourse, wouldn't it be nice to look back one day to your academic accomplishments and be a role model to your offsprings)...BUT one day, what will matter is what you will do at that present moment in the future...you will be dealing with more personalities: boss, spouse, kids (for them you will be boss!!!hahaha), co-workers etc. and what will matter is what kind of person you will be (values and all), in real-life situations.

5. Always remember, just because in someone's eyes, you are not good enough, it doesn't mean you aren't good enough.  It's their standards...not yours.  What matters is that you know you always do your best with your God-given gifts.

6. Deal with your thesis and make sure you know everything when you defend it...even the most trivial little things, formulas --you gotta understand.

8. Relax

9. Smile!

10. I'm proud of you!!!

(I just realized I forgot #7. You see, it's okay to fail. We're only human. Just don't be a "loser")

Best of luck!!!

PS...just do your best for now. whether you succeed or not --but most people who do their best succeed...when you do an assessment of things, if you've gone in that direction of doing your best, you'll realize that there is nothing else you could have done no matter what the outcome will be. You can make peace with that.