Hanging Up

Hanging Up is one of my favorite movies. I remember crying buckets as I related to Meg Ryan's character, one of three sisters who had varied personalities, lifestyles and views about the world and life.  They had different coping mechanisms and approaches to living.  In a nutshell, she was holding it all together, keeping all the balls up in the air, and was quite engulfed by some kind of messianic complex especially when it involves her sisters and family.  At some point, it was the movie of my life. I owned it. And I learned a lot from it. It's about realizing that it's not a sin to "hang up" (like on the phone) when things get too overwhelming, especially when other people don't (or can't for some reasons) cooperate. It preserves you.

On my birthday, my cousin gave me a DVD of the movie and I kept saying how I resonate to Meg's sentiments.  And she said, "I don't see you as her, I see you as her sister."

Good point.  I'm not her.  Anymore.  Yes, back then when the movie came out, that was the movie of my life.  I learned a lot from it.  And because of it, learned to hang up. I have evolved as all people do.  We change through the years, adjusting our sails according to the winds of our experiences. Sometimes, we come out weaker, sometimes, stronger.  And what we are now is different from what we still will be.  It's a mix of choices and consequences. And it's a lifelong process.

Through the years, I have evolved. In fact, I think I've overdone it.  I still cried watching the movie years after, but more over the recollection of that feeling from the past --invoking old thoughts and emotions to surface, and not from the recognition of it's parallelism to my present. Maybe I have been burnt out too much before. I've actually learned the skill of closing my lines pretty well when I need to protect or collect myself.  And I'm not sure if it's good or bad now.  It's kind of selfish sometimes.  Have I closed a gate that I shouldn't have? Have I turned into a dense monster now?  But one thing I know, I'm a lot saner now. Less neurotic actually. And there's less drama in my life.  It's all a joyful ride despite bumps and potholes.  Loving my family with a healthy mind and heart, accepting my limitations while exhausting my capabilities, coping with the physical distance from them with a big sense of adventure and passion for living, embracing each moment with grace and acceptance of God's will, and touching people now as a whole person, and in a happy and cheerful way.  Well, as long as I don't keep overdoing it...I mean the hanging up part.  Please keep reminding me.