Identity Crisis

Eureka! But I’m not running out to the streets of Syracuse naked.  I found it at last!

        I thought I had lost my California ID card (not the driver’s license) when I had my right ear cartilage pierced (the same spot that closed up) late last year.  I went through the whole painful process of reporting it to the concerned agencies fearing that someone else might use it, and fearing the worst: harm my credit; or get my identity entangled in some gruesome murder case. Eventually, I got used to the idea that somewhere out there, someone (hopefully a hot-looking minor) might use my ID only to buy some liquor (quite responsibly if it was possible!) and that’s it. 

        Can you keep a secret? I mourned for that ID because I ADORED my photo there.  I was maybe 25 flipping pounds lighter then, my long hair was brushed more than once that day, and I was wearing a good amount of war paint on my face…a definite “hot girlfriend” version of me.  The Driver’s ID that was left with me spoke of hideousness and nothing else.  It was taken when I didn’t know the photo was going to be taken.  I had a house-shirt on, I didn’t brush my hair twice that day (LOL), and I don’t think I took a shower that day *joke*. And oh yes, I was 25 flipping pounds heavier, and I squeezed the shot in between washing dishes and doing laundry…a definite “horrendous-looking wife” version of me! I remember praying for some nice soul to mail that beautiful version of me back to my address but nothing ever came. Then I remember blaming people for keeping it in light of their malevolent motives.  And of course, I also accused the finder for keeping it just because I looked really “hot” there *dream on*.

        Hubby and I went clubbing last weekend (Plug: Bruno’s in SF) and I took one of my tiny black “clubbing” purses.  I was putting my Driver’s license in the inner pocket when I felt another ID card in there.  It’s my long lost ID!!! I still don’t have any recollection of how it ended up there. Maybe I took it to Blue Light (another favorite) one time.  But I do remember showing that ID to the Piercing Pagoda several months after that.  I’m positive! And I remember coming home without it. How on earth it happened remains a mystery to me.

        But I’m so happy and relieved that I have my “hot girlfriend” version in my wallet once more.  Now, if I can only go back to looking the part.