My birthdays have always been sacred and special for me (well, whose birthday isn't?). It has always been a celebration of life ...a thanksgiving to God for all the blessings and graces bestowed upon me throughout the year. And mine were mostly celebrated with the special people in my life...partying with friends or eating out, drinking, playing, dancing, out of town trips, eating...eating...eating.
Lately though, I've been so busy (busier than when I was Sales Manager...or when I was Lead Teacher or when I was wrestling with my papers for my Masteral Studies!) And to think, now I'm practically a stay-at-home wifey! I guess that happens. Just because one isn't working, family and friends tend to think he has all the time in the world to do things for them. But I'm not complaining. Just laughing at the realization of how much responsibilities I have on my shoulders now. The Christmas rush is here, I have tons of paperwork for my mom's upcoming reunion and stuff to do for family, and other things to do that other people may only begin to miss when I decide to pack my bags and give Harry Potter a visit in Hogwarts.
I just wanted to stress the point that it has been chaotic for me lately. Not depressive, just chaotic. Lots of parties too, lots of fun, lots of noise. I remember telling my friend Raquel that I am thankful for the good life I have been born into and the way of life my family introduced me to...that includes the social circle and the never-ending parade of events I usually need to go to. But yes, I do long for the simple life too.
I guess that's one of the things I am hoping for in the States, where no one really knows me, or where we live close enough to be in touch but far enough to get too entangled with so much stuff. (Although I was quite disappointed with the privacy I wished for in the States when not too long ago, my hubby and I experienced THE GREAT PINOY GOSSIP of all time - thanks to some nosy people who didn't leave the bad habit behind when they migrated from PI). But well, I think of myself as part-selfish still, about giving it all up, where my family name is almost passport to anything, (being able to cut through long queues, getting VIP privileges), and most of all, being regarded with respect even without trying to earn it.
Geez, I think I said too much. I just want to say that for this year, I wanted some silence in my life even for just a day. I wanted to dedicate my birthday toward refocusing and centering myself once again, re-owning my life, tuning out all the noise and just letting all the peace set in, getting ready for another year of new experiences and the wisdom that come with these.
And so for my birthday (Dec. 16th), I disappeared from everybody for a change (not a lot of people had real good clues where I was and it was fun just thinking about it, weehee!!!). I moved my occasional "LOVE MYSELF DAY" to this day and it was a quiet celebration thanking God for being born. I got what I wanted. Privacy, Peace, Serenity among others. Heaven did it again. I'm spoiled and happy. See, God always lets me get my way. And so now, I'm ready for people again.
1 comment:
you’ve always been so sweet, Ayisse. being in mn i am quite far from all the pinoy gossip, but let me tell you that our people do not have this monopoly.it is in all humans who envy you for your happiness, not so much for what you have but more for your contentment and happiness. every now and then i somehow wish you were here heading my unit. i do not know how that is possibly with you and me being in such different fields now. i really miss you…i wish we had more time to hang-out.
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