Clarisms II

TGIF! Aside from it being a Friday…I got paid today!

It’s slow at work today, so I get a chance to write something. I tried to cut my bangs in my cube yesterday when things got too slow (if you think I’m joking, then you really don't know me that much yet) I realized my bangs have gotten too long that it was tugging on one side of my hairline, making it look like an ugly thinning out patch...so cut I did! Now my bangs are so thick, puffy but light that they stand on their own and make me look like I just got up from bed, and it’s 2:26 pm!) Today, there’s nothing left for me to cut and I’m sure my co-worker won’t appreciate it if I start styling her hair --though sometimes, I catch myself mentally trying to do so.  So I’m writing instead. I’m actually emailing this from my work email to my yahoo ad, since our security firewall blocks Friendster like it’s one of those wanted psycho serial killers.  What a bummer. I’ll just upload it tonight. One passionate blogger could be that desperate, y'know! And hopefully embellish it with pictures too (if this one comes out with pictures, that means I actually had time in between evening chores and hubby-related affairs--tv, basically).  It’s been a while since I’ve done that.  Not that I am one of those desperately-needing-to-blog-everytime-online-journal-junkies, well, yeah, maybe I am, sort of…whatever! I would usually write to make something out of an experience. But today, these are just random bouncing thoughts to pass the time, and hopefully it takes me somewhere. Or at least just to record some irrelevant stuff in my journal, which, who knows may be worth something someday.  Call me a hopeless sentimental.  I just like to keep record of my biographical thingamajigs. Yeah right, like I would be famous someday.  Like a special little spot will be cordoned in a museum for me one day. Alright, guilty!  That’s actually one of the dreams that my subconscious secretly desires.  Well, just in case this happens, curators will not have a hard time gathering and authenticating my mementos.  I have two memory chests back home that has a lot of it, and I mean, it is one organized lot! Let me recall…my first notebook when I was first starting how to write and draw, my favorite toys…a fisher price dollhouse (which is a duplex now after it was split into two following a child-induced seismic calamity), a stinky pillow in the shape of Minnie Mouse’s head, which I creatively drawn eyebrows and teeth on with a Pilot pentel pen, a small piano with technicolored keys, etc.  I also have my ballet and other performance costumes, except for the ballet shoes---where did they go? Then there are my sketch pads, slumbooks, year-by-year journals and moldy filo-faxes, my Trapper Keepers, some test papers (with nice scores ofcourse, the rest have been conveniently burned or used as confetti), my cheerleader uniforms (including some pom-pom samples, which, I believe are disintegrating by now). Or even a small t-shirt with “Clarisse” printed out on the front back in those days when I was a Size 0 (I was probably 5 yrs old then, hahaha). Wow, this is launching me into an impromptu trip down memory lane.  Let’s not go there today.  But well, I really don’t know why I like keeping these things.  I'm not really attached to them.  I just like to be organized with them.  Maybe to have something to brag about around my lucky descendants someday?  ("ano ka, cheerleader  po ang LOLA mo!!!") Or well, maybe to show my hubby how special I am? (I don’t really need to, actually…he believes in me more than I believe in myself, or sometimes, even more than what I am really capable of doing.  Like there was one time in an official event, his proud a$$ volunteered me on-the-spot to do something geeky just because someone else couldn’t get the presentation’s software to run ("go wifey, show them what you’ve got!") and for the life of me, I didn’t have any clue what to do! 

Maybe I file away my tangible and intangible memories systematically so these could be reminders for myself of the many things that I have experienced and to thank God, my parents, and everyone I have crossed paths with for paving the way for me.  Maybe it is also a reminder for me now, to keep working on this journey as positively as I can, add up to the memory chest and squeeze in a million more brand new experiences everyday.  After all, I am a special and beautiful work in progress, and that is how it always will be.