My Otis Drive

While I was packing up my stuff to leave work yesterday, I felt a little pinch of excitement somewhere underneath my heart, yes, physiologically speaking, it was a ticklish feeling buried somewhere in the middle of my chest (“kilig” is more like it…hey, how do you explain “kilig” in English???).  I just remember that it came a millisecond after the image of driving along Otis Drive flashed in my mind.  Yeah, I felt excited to drive! I was excited to drive!!!

Let’s backtrack a little bit here.  Eversince I started driving here in the US , my self-esteem seemed to dwindle so many notches down where driving is concerned.  I have always been brave and adventurous in the Philippines , driving my Honda CRV with only one hand, left hand outstretched, right elbow resting on the armrest, both feet outstretched with the seat pulled so far away from the steering wheel you’ll never think it was a female driver that owns it.  Then for some reason, the process of re-learning rules over here (and actually respecting them) while in so many instances unconsciously violating some and then failing the DMV test, made me develop this irrational fear of driving…or maybe fear of getting chased or pulled over by cops? Or is it fear of getting the other people on the road upset?… I have not even had a big share of freeway driving yet!

Suddenly, like a comforting hand, Otis Drive is slowly pulling me away from this insane cowardice which I was beginning to succumb to.  Shame on me, I have always been Wonder Woman!  There is nothing grand about Otis Drive, except that it is a wide and peaceful stretch.  A single turn to the left would bring me to South Shore shopping center, where some of my favorite stores are (the only one in our area actually).  Down to the very end brings me to the park and the beach, and a single turn to the right brings me the sight of a welcoming row of oddly tall palm trees. Nothing as grand as other places I've seen. Nothing as awesome as other paradises I've known.  But this one attaches itself to my heart as a special human being would.  This, along with other things, makes me feel excited, welcome, comfortable and so "at home" as days and months go by in my life here in the United States...These things make me look forward to each day, some make me cruise beyond my comfort zones a lot easier...a trip to Westifield Mall in SF, lazy sundays combing estate sales and antique shows, a good hip-hop class at 24-hour Fitness, some good extra-long conversations with our senior customers at work that make them happy, a long drive to LA with my husband, stopping at Harris Ranch and back,  Ontario Mills Mall even without buying a single thing, saying good morning to my new friend at work, Monica, who starts her job 30 minutes earlier than I do, dressing up for church and having a sunday american brunch at Tilly's with Aldred...I can go on for a long time about this.

This is not a list of feel-good things.  It's not a list of things that make me happy.  These are simply inexplicable little and shallow things that excite me, drive me and make me look forward even more to life in general.  Like little weapons in times of need. I'm stuffing my pocket with a lot of it.

What is your Otis Drive?

Has it really been that long???

My last blog was on April 22nd, and I didn't even write anything in there! I don't have enough time to write, reflect or meditate. Oh no, I don't want to lose it!!! I am the kind of person who stops, smells the flowers, and pauses long enough to write about it. What's happening?

The past two months have been a blur.  A real blur.  I always liken my life to snapshots from a moving train.  On digital sports mode, ofcourse.  This time though, it's just plain blurry.  I  was caught in a flurry of activities from the downright mundane but still time-consuming to the schedule-threatening mishaps and nerve-wracking episodes...(workie-workie, then my sis getting gravely ill and then recovering as if she just had an allergic reaction --talk about touring Stanford in the real sense of the word, from the ER to the private room, as a patient!!!, chores, out of town trips, parties, events, parties, events, parties...) aka BUSY. VERY BUSY. I thought I left that all behind me in the Philippines. But NO. And it ain't over yet, sweetie.

This morning, I just burst into tears which puzzled Aldred.  "Why, mahal, are you hungry? Here, eat some of my fries." Funny.  I guess I was just irritated.  I miss our quiet weekends.  Just being lazy, or doing household chores together.  I love doing chores.  They are therapeutic for me.  It's the car trips that wear me out. It's like for the past months, we were living our lives for others.  Which ain't bad actually.  But we need some personal time too. Hopefully, our "crazy" schedule and commitments will subside by July.  We need to chill out and try to have a baby. Hee Hee Hee.

Lately, my urge to run away to the moon has been getting stronger and stronger, taking Aldred and just a bag of sunflower seeds (for him) with me...and maybe a couple of DVDs. And yes, it's fine to leave my new beloved Cingular 8525 behind.  Hmmm, maybe not.  It's okay, there's no signal in the moon anyway.

But we'll just have to be content with what is possible.  Aldred took me to the mall today.  Just us.  I bought some mineral make-ups at Sephora.  He bought Sunflower seeds.  We went home and enjoyed the quiet evening. Tomorrow will be another free day (hip hip hooray!).  It's gonna be church, brunch (the usual), and we'll probably just play it by ear. 

We'll probably just stop and smell the flowers. LOVELY!