My Take on Imaginary Friends

=special thanks to my couzin annie who shared "ivan" to me=

I've never felt so beguiled and enamoured (I think "smitten" is more like it) by a character in a book as I've been by Ivan of Cecelia Ahern's "If You Could See Me Now". A real charmer. And he's not even a real person.

But then, how do we prove what's real or not anyway?

You see, Ivan is an imaginary friend. And the book showed a never-been explored side of imaginary friends, their own thoughts and feelings -- what makes their hearts sing and what makes them weak on the knees. It's such a wonderful modern-day tale that crossed the boundaries of usual paradigms we were raised to believe.

Are they real? Or are they real in a totally different sense? I personally think they are.  After all, THOUGHT IS REAL, PHYSICAL IS THE ILLUSION.

Imaginary friends or imaginary companions are pretend characters often created by kids.  According to Wikipedia, "imaginary friends often function as tutelaries (or perform a tutelary function) when they are engaged by the child in play activity. Imaginary friends may exist for the child into adolescence and sometimes adulthood. Imaginary friends often have elaborate personalities and behaviors. Although they may seem very real to their creators, studies have shown that children understand that their imaginary friends are not real.^" According to several theories of psychology, an understanding of a child's conversations with their imaginary friends can reveal a lot about the anxieties and fears of that child as well as the child's aspirations and perception of the world. Some children report that their "imaginary friends" manifest themselves physically and are indistinguishable from "real" people, while others say that they only see their friends in their head.

I believe that imaginary friends serve a purpose.  They are there to answer a child's undefined needs. A child unconsciously creates a character in his mind that fulfills what is lacking in his environment, whether it is deeply-rooted such as love and affection or as basic as company, a "buddy" to play with.

According to Wikipedia, a long-time popular misconception holds that most children dismiss or forget the imaginary friend once they begin school and acquire 'real' friends. According to one study, by the age of seven, sixty-five percent of children report that they have had an imaginary companion at some point in their lives.Some psychologistshave suggested that children simply retain but stop speaking about imaginary friends, due to adult expectations and peer pressure. Children have reported creating or maintaining imaginary friends as pre-teens or teenagers, and very few adults report having imaginary friends. This may, however, signal a serious psychological disorder. Disturbing, hhhmmmmm...

This sends my mind careening wildly into the past. This imaginary friend hype joggled my memory of Jack. Let's just call him Jack because I have forgotten his name since I stopped talking to him when I was around 6 or 7 years old.

Like Ivan, Jack isn't a typical same-aged imaginary friend. Jack (who looked more like a "David" but let's just call him Jack) was perhaps in his early thirties when I first met and "adopted" him. I was maybe four then. I saw him at this department store my family frequented when I was young. It's called ShoeMart.  If you're from the Philippines, you'll know what I'm talking about. ShoeMart then was a small department store compared to the huge empire that it is now.

Jack wore a pair of faded denim bell-bottoms, a white t-shirt and a faded denim jacket. If I remember correctly, he sported a wide black worn-out leather belt and a pair of shiny black shoes. You see, Jack was a store mannequin. In an instant, I was captivated by his smile, his towering height next to me, and a seemingly indestructible build radiating strength and security (hard plastic and plaster, what can you expect?)

Jack and I had wonderful days as friends. He always played with me when he's not "working", brought home food (since we were in the topic of children's needs, that was probably my basic and most sought-after need as a child, hhmmmm), he gave me little trinkets, and we traveled everywhere, parks, the circus, my grandmother's garden. And oh, his wallet. I remember he had a leather wallet too, but he didn't have a lot of money. And I thought he was always sad and tired, but helping him out and being a good friend to him brought me joy. I remember I would send him sandwiches to wherever he worked, and other shallow pretend play like that.

You know what I loved the most about my friend Jack? He always took me to the store where he worked (that, of course, was just pretend play). He told me to sneak in the fitting rooms and wait for him while he worked. He worked hard all day. Can you imagine trying to be a frozen statue and not being able to move all day just to sport whatever was the most popular fashion for that season? I'd wait for hours for him so we could play again and talk about so many interesting things. I remember the fitting room to be cold and clean and bright from the flourescent light. Sometimes he'd sneak in so we can talk about my day or introduce me to his friends and his friends' kids the same size as me. All of them, including the kids worked in that store. They were all mannequins. But they were all nice and good-natured, exactly how I wanted the world around me to be.

Jack was my imaginary friend. Or looking back now, I realize that perhaps, I was his.

 

PS. Did you have an imaginary friend too? What was he/she like? Tell me!!!

By the way, this book started out as my bathroom book (I read it one page per day, a little at a time) but as the story unfolded, I found myself cheating to no end until I got to the last page. If you're interested, grab the book now. I heard from a little birdie that Walt Disney already bought the film rights and will come out with the movie by 2011.

I still crave for more of Ivan. I'm still captivated by his charm and wish that his story never ended.  Perhaps it hasn't. How do we know anyway?