My stepdaughter came up here for a short visit last weekend. We flew her in so she could help warm up our new house and feel like she's part of this new home even if she's mostly away at her mom and stepdad's down south.
Hubby was young when they had her and after that, both of them moved on and eventually got married BUT not to each other. But it's not my story to go through details about. The nice part that I want to make a note of, I guess, is that at this very moment we all feel so blessed. My stepdaughter's mom is one of the first real people that I got acquainted to when I first moved here. We'd hang out everytime we come and visit down south or attend school affairs together, or when the whole family comes up north to visit common friends. It's not just a civil relationship, in fact, it's way deeper than that. I know it's strange, but that family is actually in my favorite people list. I'm blessed because they have been real nice to me as much as I've been nice to them, without sugar-coating unpleasant things needing disclosure to each other too when it's necessary of course, and thus, there is no thread of fakeness in this web that we all belong to. It's all good.
Hubby also keeps saying he's blessed because her mom and I get along. I think we're friends! She and I were just talking last month about how blessed we are that our husbands love us (we were talking about weight gain). Her mom is blessed because I'm not a wicked stepmother. I'm blessed too because she's a good person and doesn't give me a headache. She's a good mom and ergo, She is a good daughter. I'm blessed that she's a very good stepdaughter. She's a good student, with straight As most of the time, she's into dancing just like me, a little sensitive sometimes but always fun to be with. She never built a fence around her from the very start and opened herself up to me as if I had been there for her since birth. I must admit that it was a little awkward at first but she broke the ice by calling me "Mom" when all we were hoping for was "Mommy C" at least. So who am I to build a fence around me? Why would I pay good with bad? I still have a lot to learn about being a "mom" but I'm trying and giving my best. I guess, with that, She's also blessed. One time, she sent hubby and I a text message saying how happy she is that she has all the four of us in her life. Loving parents and double the treat! I'm glad she sees it as that. Other kids go astray with the same situation.
Last Saturday, she and I were up surfing online and talking before she slept in the same bed with us at 2am. (maybe she's not used to her new room in the new house but I think it's something more special than that) She's now slowly dipping her toes in the puddle of career options and other educational programs (nursing? or medical/technical or the arts? education?) She's turning 16 this year and college will be just around the corner. It's as scary and uncertain for us parents as it is to her. We hope to be able to give the best we can within our resources. We're saving up and asking around about grants, scholarships and other financial assistance every student needs here in the US. Last Saturday, she had a lot of questions but hubby was sound asleep and I was the only parent around. She had a lot of questions about this college board website, what sort of programs she can get into to get the job she wants, most of which I couldn't answer fully because I'm not yet familiar with the information I needed as a parent of a near-college student here in America (If it was the Philippines, no problem!) I haven't even raised a preschooler yet! But she thought I was a lot of help with the little info I gave.
If I want to be a real mom-mom, I have a lot of homework to do. And I'll do it because I'm blessed. And I want to keep everyone else blessed too.
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