Old Flame

"A woman's heart is a deep ocean of secrets." -Old Rose, "Titanic"

 

I had a stange dream last night.

It's about an old flame...an old friendship that had a lot of potential for romance but never blossomed into anything more.  Yes, it pretty much tiptoed on thin ice at different points in our lives (think YEARS in between those sporadic tendencies) but with every instance being dropped like a hot brick each time by either one of us. It was a secret even my BFF would have never guessed.

I think it's because his name came up in a conversation hubby and I were having with my sister and her husband yesterday, he didn't make it to our wedding inspite of being invited together with his entire family. The last time we were actually together was a MILLION years ago in our hometown, one late night in his red Ford after sharing one cup of Mocha Java, just driving around the city and waking up the neighborhood with loud...very loud singing on a microphone, with music blaring from his car stereo, we were throwing all our worries to the wind and having a blast. That was it. I remember crying buckets thereafter over such an inexplicable after-effect of the event. That was a million years ago at a different phase in my life.

I can't even fully remember what was in the dream except for the knowledge that it was an ordinary slice of life setting and old flame was part of it. It's funny how a strange dream can get you waking up nostalgic and feeling funny in your heart. But it's always deceiving so one shouldn't really get carried away with what a recollection brings. While the heart can do something to the brain, the brain is also capable of doing things to the heart.  They play tricks on each other. The memory of old things and old feelings is entirely different from the actual ones during the time when they still existed.

Anyway, the odd and funny feeling lasted for just a few minutes. It simply started rolling away, fading right along with the very little remembered details of the dream. You realize you're not in trouble when you simply let it fade away, not because you want to try to stick to your morals, but because it just isn't significant in your current personal scheme of things anymore.