36 Hours

Seriously.

I wish the day had 36 hours. I will try my best not to complain of being tired, just give me 36 hours! There's so much I need to accomplish, and so little time each day. I liken it to attempting to shove humongous stuff that could fill up a whole hiking backpack into a teeny weeny wristlet purse.

But God (or the force --  if you're one of those believers of some other magical or scientific reason) -- though it's still my God for me, my loving God, designed the day to have 24 hours, as dictated by the rising and setting of the beautiful sun, so there must be a supreme reason for being so. I think I'm just trying to achieve so many things all at one time that I feel that there's so little time. Maybe I need to sit back, relax and weigh my priorities.

So many interests have taken a back seat since I got swallowed up by chores and yet more hobbies. My hula dancing, which is on for only 2 hours a week now -- and performing once in a while (we'll be dancing with the big parade in A-town this coming 4th of July if you happen to be here in NorCal!!!), and then my art: wire-wrapping projects and sketches,  Italian lessons, photography with my husband, and a hodge-podge of other things, my blogging (and writing) which is slowly moving unto the back seat for some other writing projects *hint* *hint*... I hope you guys buy my book when it comes out. My book project is eating up all of me lately, consuming my energy and attention that I am worse than absent-minded most of the time. It's set to release by my birthday this year (Christmastime) so please pray for me. And pray that I meet the deadlines and encounter no difficult publishing hurdles especially since I too have taken the liberty of dropping the illustration requirements on my own lap. All these in between wifey duties (50% chef, 50% bedroom goddess *LOL*) and a serious full time job! I'm not complaining. I hope I can find the time to really sit down and accomplish things. I keep working and re-working my schedule to the point of catatonia.

*sigh*

I might have to let go of other things temporarily until the book project is done. But which one?!?

I've had some health scares recently too.  You know, these health and life-threats...they purify you. They make you transcend over the pettiest of matters -- considering them completely irrelevant. These things make you grow.  You see, when you come face to face with your mortality, no matter how false alarm it might be, nothing seems to matter anymore. Well, unless you get there, you'll never know how possible that state of mind can be.  That not a single material thing, not a single emotional entanglement nor relationship issue, no negative quirks nor trivial encounters with acquaintances or strangers will move you...none of these affect you anymore.  You simply transcend to a higher level of wisdom where you find unalterable peace in your heart that makes you dismiss everything human and trivial-- and certainly not with a fist to punch back -- but with a nod of your head, and then you proceed to concentrate on living your life to the fullest and making good use of your time on earth, and hoping that everything benefits more people, and yet more people even if nothing comes back to you -- whether there's not enough time left for you, or you still have million miles before you kick the bucket.

I am on this level where I am in pursuit of my biggest dream, something that has fallen into place recently in a grand eureka moment in the car with my husband. 

And at this age, 36, I can finally say that I have truly discovered what I want to be when I grow up.

I might not turn out to be the best. But who cares, as long as I know that I've given my best.

Christmastime, this year...my book(s) are coming out.

Please help me pray for it. And pray that this dream comes into fruition come hell or high water.