Aaaaargh!!!

 

--written 2/26/09 for Coffee, Anyone? ---

Since I have been feeling kind of in the pits lately, my klutz factor has been busy wreaking havoc wherever I tread. I broke my phone at work on Monday when I accidentally yanked it off too hard. The manager kidded me that it was going to be deducted from my paycheck, a  scary joke of course, then he asked if I wanted to keep the audio piece so I can frame it and hang it alongside the other casualties of my destructive abilities.  They replaced the broken part and threw in a piece of tootsie roll for good karma. And then I almost let 3 innocent bottles of Magnesium Chloride liquid freeze as I completely overlooked the 1º temperature.  Good thing they caught it just in time. No wonder I've been having a weird gut feel in my chest (or somewhere in my body where gut feels cultivate themselves), that something wasn't right and slipped under my nose again.

I haven't been cooking either. And yesterday, I almost nodded off at a stoplight. Go ahead, Clarisse, start a personal collection of traffic violations only two days after you've settled your last fine...

Worse, I have let some opps for paid posts expire on me! ingrata... Inspiration eludes me and motivation has really been quite scarce lately as I have been pouring my attention and energy somewhere else. Blame it on gravity, the moon, or hormones going haywire.  Yeah, all of the above. This morning, I woke up at 7:18am because I ended the alarm clock's incessant cries by turning it off at 7:00am instead of hitting the snooze button.

I think I'm already withdrawing from caffeine on the very first day without a cup. My body is slowly decaffeinating and it's not liking it. But why the heck did I start writing this post again? Oh, I wanted to tell you about my dream before it fades away throughout the day. Last night, or was it this morning. Yes, I believe it happened between turning off the alarm at 7am and waking up looking like a wide-eyed human electric shock at 7:18.

In my dream I was surrounded by fairies. First there was one, she introduced herself as "Cavalieri". And then there were two...and then five.  And not only that, it seemed as if all the kids' imaginary friends started to congregate around me. They were all talking to me but no one else could see them and I felt embarassed in my dream that hubby caught me speaking to someone, this Cavalieri...who was complaining that I didn't "see" her yesterday. Funny. 18 minutes seemed like an eternity in dreamland. There were sweeping images of me living in a Victorian house and discovering a secret passage to the attic and a staircase to the basement; Imelda Marcos (the heck!) behaving like a lowly and ordinary country lass barging into my room barefoot (Imelda not wearing shoes!?!) but she was wearing stockings and she handed me a pair of signature sunglasses (woohoo!) but I tried it on and my right eye couldn't see as if it was a Harry Potter trick and then I worried that I was going blind as a complication of severe health issues; my uncle was also in my dream complaining about the scent of brooms which incidentally multiplied before my eyes; then my two old friends and a smorgasbord of other images one can only summon vividly in REM sleep.  It was strange yet entertaining. I felt like Alice in Wonderland. Really quite interesting...

I dabbled in dream analysis in my graduate school courses, that's why usually, dreams end up making me smile. They sort of rub the mounting yet unrecognized feelings on my face. And in the end, I'd give it a knowing nod. One thing about dreams, they cannot be defined by dream dictionaries. They are contextual and subjective. They lay snuggly on the life of the one who had the dream, with threads attached to the mind, the heart and even the physical aspects, and later on to be interpreted in context and according to the different theoretical frameworks of Psychology that one adheres to. So anyway, enough of this.

Among stuff that I'm revealing (of course, there are some that I'll keep) , well, perhaps it's all because I just wrote about hoping to have a Victorian house with a B and B one day. And Imelda Marcos' cameo role? I'd like to think that it's because no matter what, I still try to see the weak and human side of a person notwithstanding how powerful or vicious one has been-- and most importantly, the goodness in each one. And freaking health issues...I've been wrestling with them lately, those which aren't mine, those that befell me, and the ones in the imaginary category, which accounts for 98% of the time. And yes, I've been reading about imaginary friends too. It's entitled "If You Could See Me Now" by Cecelia Ahern. It's my bathroom book at the moment so expect that I won't finish it for a long time since I'm usually done with my business before I am able to turn a page. Ooops, too much information. I'm really losing it.

Blame it on withdrawal from caffeine. I'll get over it eventually.