Forks

Driving home one time, hubby and I played the game of WHAT IFs involving our lives.

What if I didn't marry him and what if I was stuck with THAT JERK?  (long story...) and I don't want to talk about that part of my life ever again!!! If you pay me a million bucks, maybe I would. But I'll haggle for higher, throw in a collection of some expensive books I've been wanting to buy...Maybe I'll tell...I'm happy with the package I picked.

What if we didn't go out, who would we have hooked each other up with? We're crazy I know! But I did have someone in mind for him. And he didn't want any of his friends to have me! Is that good...or bad!?!

What if I finished my masteral thesis? or studied to be a nurse? I really want to be in the helping profession...I could have been earning more. I could have been a shrink by now, or a life coach, or a therapist, even a school counselor. But I could  have been spending less time with hubby too...and the other creative things I love doing. That's unimaginable. But I guess it takes only a little of getting used to. But still. I'm a wife with an 8-5 job and it works fine. I'm fine.

What if he didn't become a tech at BMW? -- a greasemonkey so he says, but affords me occasional days of splurging in my favorite shops! This one's a shocking revelation! He would have been a chef! He wanted to study culinary arts and is still thinking that we may one day enroll in classes as husband and wife at a good culinary school in the city.

What if I didn't leave my parents behind in the Philippines? The answer is simple, I would have been there to be with them during doctor's visits. I would have been there when they needed me. But how about this life with hubby...last night we took a 2-mile walk at the San Francisco Bay Trail, watched the sunset by the ocean, with patches of marshlands, reserves and santuaries behind us, a stone's throw away from our new home as we talked about our life and our own future. *sigh*

What if we didn't lose our baby in November 2006? What if he lived? We could have been happy and doting parents by now. I wouldn't have been a little distant around kids right now.  I would have still been so fond, the-once-preschool-teacher-rolling-on-the-ground-making-stupid-faces-and-noises kind of fond of little kids at family parties. Now I'm a little reserved and choose to mingle only with adults and teens. The scar is still there, it still throbs sometimes. I'm still working on it. Maybe next year. I'll be ready to face this baby issue and work on having one! *LOL* I'm scared, yet I don't want to break hubby's heart. Maybe next year...

We are a product of our choices, or random events that uproots us from where we are and throws us into one of the many paths when the road of our life forks. But yes, we are still a product of our choices, even how we react to these random events, or how we feel. What is certain is that benefits are born with consequences, and that advantages and trade-offs may come together. We just need to learn how to balance them, and live the life story we choose to write for ourselves with as little regret as possible.

We want to make sure to always seek God's Guidance and try our best to make the right choices, every corner, every fork; Most of all, be grateful to God for the benefits that come with our decisions and lovingly embrace the consequences along the way.