Recently, Daddy handed me a copy of an official document which I am not really interested about at this point. It was a freshly drawn contract between him and an american vehicle company which was going to lease our property for their showroom, sales/after-sales and customer service departments. He gave copies to my two sisters as well. I accepted it as casually as he handed it while he said, "I am giving this because the lease contract is for twenty years and you have to know these things including the escalation agreement and other details". He said it as matter-of-factly as he could but it didn't take me more than five seconds to get the message. Twenty years. He is 69 right now. Mommy is 65. In twenty years, he will be 89...Mommy 85. He didn't want to verbalize it but it was short of saying...by the time the contract expires, will they ever be around still?
My early childhood memories flashed before me, where before Superman and Wonderwoman, my first superheroes were Daddy and Mommy. They were big and strong and could even make anything possible. Even a soft blow on a cut on my finger could make the pain go away, or a school project would be completed overnight on my last minute notice. I felt a jolt in the pit of my stomach as I held the document that Daddy handed me. All of a sudden, I am made to swallow the sad news that my greatest heroes are humans just like me. I was coming face-to-face with their mortality. Even with my own, although this doesn't as much bother me compared to realizing that someday, my "Dah" and "Mee-mah" will grow older...and weaker...and even succumb to the superheroes' final battle (oh, I can't even say it). It is part and parcel of the cycle of life. It is something all of us have to face and prepare for. I just never imagined it holding true in my own immediate family. The lease contract burst my bubble.
All my life, I have always tried to be a good child to them. BUT, all these new thoughts made me feel that I have not done enough. And it's not even as a debt-payback. It is for the simple reason that they deserve only the best, simply for being themselves. Time is running. I still have a lot of work to do. I will love them and serve them unconditionally while I still can (despite faults, occasional temper tantrums, adult memory lapses, the infamous consequences of generation gap, technological ignorance, blunders and all).
I know that forever will never be enough, but I will try my best while I can, every moment, every second.
Ma and Da, I'm sorry if I have not done enough. I LOVE YOU BOTH WITH ALL MY HEART. AND THANK YOU FOR ALWAYS BEING THERE FOR ME.
3 comments:
After reading this, I finally decided once and for all to go back home to Vancouver and visit my mom and dad in August, despite the hit on the wallet due to Rome. Thank you for reminding me of what’s important.
Our parents are the bosom friends that we always have. we should always spend time with them and give them our love. we should always appreciate their way of caring and loving us. They have been there from the very beginning and they know us very well. I love you mom and dad! and i hope and pray that god will give you long life, may all your dreams for yourselves and for us come true and im sorry for my shortcomings
Hope you don’t mind my dropping in and showing some love on your page. Your blogs are so inspiring, but this one hits the heart! I can so relate to this, since my Dad has been in and out of the hospital and have had 2 surgeries since April. I understand exactly what you felt, that realization that there’s so much to do, yet so little time. On my daily trips to visiting and caring for my dad at the hospital, my prayer has always been, “Dear Lord, help us accept your will for Papa.” There was a time when we thought we were going to lose him. Well, enjoy every moment…and never fail to say you love them. Take care.
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