Coffee Comedy

           I have a DKNY tote bag that I love so much because it's a simple white tote and I could throw a lot of stuff in it.  The catch though, it could get very disorganized in there. So I found the most plausible solution for it before my OC-ness drove me nuts.  I placed a pouch inside so that my valuables like wallet, car key, cellphone and sunglasses won't play circus with my book, pen, lipstick, hairbrush, rosary, gum, smints, hand sanitizer, 2-wk old corn nuts, receipts, underwear (*joke*), dead PDA, lotto tickets and what-nots.  It's the kind of pouch that you can close by pulling the string and knotting it (do we really have to knot it by the way?)  Virtually, a bag within a bag.

So I went to Starbucks the other day to get my usual Grande Iced Cafe Mocha (decaf, non-fat).  I had my tote bag with me.  The routine went on as usual. I placed my order, I gave my name, the cashier rang it up...until it was time for me to pay.  I dug into my bag for my pouch.  When I finally got it, I couldn't see from outside the bag where the string was, so I knew I had no choice but to take it out.  I seriously debated against it because the guy behind the register was waiting for me, looking. And I didn't want to risk looking like the stereotype of an old lady miser who keeps her moolah in little money sacks (my pouch looked like one!)  So I just partially took it out, with half of the pouch still inside.

           Thank God I found the string.  It must have been the longest 8 seconds of my life.  Then, lo and behold! I couldn't loosen the knot!!!  I had a DKNY bag but I surely didn't seem like someone who could afford to pay my caffeine fix for the day.  So in my head I counted "One...Two...Three....PULL".  The knot wouldn't budge.  I tried it a few more times and realized I was really embarassing myself.  Being the candid person that I am,  I even muttered something like "Please bear with me, I'm having a hard time with thi...*voice fading out*. It would have been a breeze had the cashier been more successful at hiding his reaction.  Though he said "It's okay, Ma'am, take your time", his face was so flushed from trying hard not to laugh.  He also bursted out with a fake cough to mask that laugh (Hey, I've done that before!) and spun around twice, coughing.  Either I looked so FOB-ish (Fresh Off the Boat-ish), "jologs", or just plain comical.  But it was not just the longest 8 plus another 30 seconds of my life, it was also quite a hilariously embarassing one.

             Finally, the knot decided to save me from begging from strangers to pay for my drink.  At the back of my head, I was already rehearsing my script, "Hey Mister, excuse me, but can you pay for my drink first. I swear I have money inside this pouch...but I can't quite take it out...unless I cut it or something".  *Hmmm*...that sounded pretty devious to me...

           Well, I'm not sure if I was able to give you a clear graphic sense of what went on, but I definitely think it was so funny.  I was laughing at myself as soon as I claimed my cup til I sipped the last of the mocha.   

           Well, it was a good one.  By the way, the pouch is no longer there.